addictedtoyou♥

이승기 정신이 나갔었나봐

2012-02-12T01:28:00.000+13:00

current fave song, that.

holiday was super fun.. went by way too quickly though. kinda regretted going to china, cuz it meant less time with relatives etc, especially in solo, only spent about a week there. not enough time at all - - i havent even been back in 3 years.

currently saving up the monies for rent, laptop, new moby, bills, trip to phillipines (maybe !)
so many things to buy, so little money- -
well i have to be extra strict this year - no shopping, no eating outs (that much), only spend money for actual necessary stuff. if i do go to the phillipines it'll be more fun shopping there anyway.

have been hanging with josh everyday after work. always back home just before ten, since it's the limit driving time for restricteds.. even stayed a few times there lol.

had a phone call with celine today ! YUSS. bitched about boys and etcetera. miss you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

it's thursday !

2011-11-24T13:12:00.000+13:00

which means there's only 2.5 more days i have to get through until sundaaay...

i'm back in hamilton now, obviously, helping mum pack up and clean the house etc. glad to see that my cat hasn't gotten fatter since last time i saw her.. actually she kinda reminds me of some people, who only show up when they want something (her dinner) and then you don't see them for the rest of the day..

anyway. my stuff is all packed up, just helping mum with her stuff and the housecleaning now. i've just been home everyday, since josh is working and i have no friends ): well on tuesday i went to josh's and then his cousin came and we towned. man some new stuff happened here. took some photos to show celine, and then josh had his restricted test in the afternoon. he passed! no surprises there, but it was still exciting. anyway josh drove his mum home, then we went to my place, and we hung around until we decided to drive to jae's and then had some KFC. then we dropped jae back home and josh took me took the lake, where he tried to teach me how to skip rocks, and i failed miserably. but it was still a nice romantic little date we had (:

yesterday josh came around again about 6.30 and he let me drive to andrei's house HAHA. after seeing his massive computer stuff we went to visit nico and his doggy, and it was so weird cuz when the dog was little he was brown, and now he's white! anyway. me, nico and josh drove to countdown and bought some snacks (obviously) and then after hanging out for a while josh drove me home.

i dont think im seeing him again today. but its okay i have to start getting used to NOT seeing him everyday anyway. i wont be seeing him in 7 weeks GASP. that will be the longest time we're not gonna see each other.. i hope i survive. ohwell im too excited for this holiday anyway, maybe he'll miss me more than i miss him hehe x

well tomorrow there's an office party thing going on and then this november birthday party that the indonesian community hold every year so it should be fun.. and food should be plentiful (Y) yeahhhh.

chippy the fatty

D -7

2011-11-20T05:20:00.000+13:00

as of 11.30 this sunday, which is 6 hours from when i'm typing right now, i will only have exactly one week before i board the plane to indonesia.

excited? hells yeahs.

been talking to friends and co-workers about shopping in china, and snowing there, and i got more and more excited with every conversation, all pumped up and ready to go.

at the moment the whole apartment is packed up, me and josh's stuff all ready to go. he's not going overseas with me obviously (i wish), but he is going back down to hamilton and working there for the holidays. so yeah, a lot of cleaning and packing up happening lately. we're catching the 8 o'clock bus to hamilton tomorow (actually more like 3 hours from now) so pretty much next week i'll be alone at home with nothing to do. except talking to my (fat) cat.

anyway, i bought a pink panasonic lumix touch-screen camera, which i am very happy to own despise it not being an DSLR. not rich enough for one of those i suppose. i don't care, always wanted a pink camera and now i have one. and mr josh is gonna pay me back the money i spent on it, because apparently it is now my 19th birthday present (Y)

blog ya later.

2012 and so on

2011-10-24T23:08:00.000+13:00

soooooo. will be going on a little holiday trip these holidays..

leaving the morning of 27 november. a day before my 19th lol. then apparently going to singapore-HK, then HK-china.. pretty damn excited, not gonna lie. havent been back in indo in 3 years, also haven't been to HK and china. photos all around.

and i've just won a little digital camera, perfect timing (: was gonna buy one but not anymore.. truly can't wait.

also i've been accepted at AUT.. computer designs next year. need to sort out student loan so i'll have munny to live on. HAHA. and mr joshy has been accepted there too.. YAY we're in same class?! haha that'll be super fun. although i probably will end up not learning much with him distracting..

lightweight

2011-10-24T03:29:00.005+13:00

i'm a lightweight ;
better be careful what you say.
with every word i'm blown away.
you're in control of my heart.

i hate how sometimes i still think about you, as if you're still a part of my life.
you're obviously not. have not even had a single tiny connection with you at all for a few millenias now.
so, why ? and when will this stop? if ever?
you're stupid. i hate you. go away.

i'm a lightweight ;
easy to fall, easy to break.
with every move my whole world shakes.
keep me from falling apart.

SHUUUUUUUUUUUUZ pt. 1

2011-07-06T03:10:00.006+12:00

my shoeezzelsz.

hopefully there will be part 2, part 3 etc, it all depends on the available munny (:

single vs. not-single

2011-07-06T02:35:00.003+12:00

well, being in a relationship for 1 year, 10 months and 4 days as of right now, i should probably vote for 'not-single', right? because if i don't, then that means i'm in an unhappy relationship. but that's not true, so...

i've been thinking about this lately.. sometimes old memories come up. it's annoying, this memory thing us humans have. how sometimes thoughts about old stuff suddenly spring back up, so not helping anyone. everyone's moved on, so obviously there's no reason to think about stuff, so i don't. but i don't fully control my thoughts all the time, and some unwanted stuff gets thinked about now and then anyway.

haha this doesn't even make sense. i have to admit, and the boyfriend knows this, don't worry, that i miss the good ol' single days. those days when you have a massive crush on some boy and you dedicate your every waking second finding out if the feeling's mutual. it was always fun and childish, and now it doesn't happen to me anymore... at least with a secure relationship i know i'm not gonna get my heart broken again over silly stuff. but then that means if i get my heart broken this time, it would be over non-silly stuff, and wouldn't it hurt more... ?

scary.

not really worried about it, though. i'm so very happy with mr joshy and things are going great (: we're planning on going to the zoo next week for a casual date.. haha that word sounds weird and formal. but yes, i love him very much sometimes it scares me. cuz, you know, of that saying. the power of the relationship lies with whomever cares the least. it's sad, but definitely true. the one who cares more will be hurt more if things go bad.

anyway, to less deep stuff. had a fun time today.. went to newmarket, bought $10 heels, 2 $10 dresses and a $5 top. HA DE HA. and then went to have dinner with chris and josh, at nando's, then off for a game of pool. awesome stuff.

xx

webcam

2011-06-17T22:01:00.003+12:00

mr joshy bought a webcam.. mostly so that we can talk and see celine properly on skype. and also so i can take pictures. HUAHAHA.

have not posed in a while.

anyway, not much has happened... it's been a lazy day.. lazy week.. more like lazy month. feeling very unmotivated etc, and doing stuff i'm not supposed to do and ignoring the stuff that should be done. i hope a non-lazy month will come up soon or i'm screwed.

oh, and we're looking for a new flattie.. hopefully josh's sis cuz that would be awesome. and not weird, like if we got some random person we dont even know.

might be going to indo etc the end of this year.. EXCITED! it means save EXTRA MUNNY ! means no shopping because i shall shop there !!

and i'll love you like i always do.

(:

2011-05-29T00:02:00.000+12:00

-

cause in your eyes, i'd like to stay.

x

cheatercheaterbestfriendeater

2011-04-23T23:41:00.003+12:00

cheaters should go die.

no, thankfully, mr josh hasn't cheated on me. but shoji, this character in this popular japanese manga nana, did. and as i was reading it in bed alone last night, reading about him cheating on nana with some other bitch, i felt my anger rising and it was... surprising.

of course, everyone knows that cheating is bad. (hopefully). and even if you haven't been cheated on before, i bet it's not hard to imagine how much it will hurt if you do. and then i thought about it so much, and imagining what would happen if josh cheated on me, that it even went into my dream. i had some 6 restless hours of sleep with a nightmare, and it was about josh cheating on me with celine. (AHA.) and i woke up feeling mega depressed, which was not fun because i had to go to work and be cheerful and happy as a fronter of an ice cream shop.

the surprising part was, in the book... shoji had nana as his girlfriend, but at his workplace/uni he met this other girl who was totally his type, sachiko. they got close and she obviously liked him, but shoji never told her about nana. then one time when they were together, nana called, and sachiko found out. so she started crying, feeling sad and also guilty, and tried to run away. but shoji grabbed her and hugged her, and one thing led to one another and they... hooked up. but i wasn't that surprised or hurt. what hurt me the most was a few pages afterwards.. when shoji was just chilling at sachiko's apartment, playing around with her and holding her. it made me feel sick. and then i had a serious talk about cheaters with my flatmate.

we found out the reason why i felt that way. boys will be boys, and they'll always have these urges to go hump something. so if shoji had just slept with sachiko and then that's it, it wont be as bad. but he actually spent time with her and liked her, and so it's really sad. i'm sure i don't make sense to most of you, but me and my flatmate agreed on this. it's so much sadder when you find out your boy/girlfriend actually is in love with someone else, instead of just hooking up with some other person. you might think, initially, them having sex with someone else is the worst thing they can do, but it's not. when you think about it, it hurts so much more if they didn't hook up, but actually fell in love with someone else, because you know then that it's real. its not just some physical lust thing taking over, but it's their heart belonging to someone else now.

haha, look at me. going on and on about this so passionately when i haven't even experienced it yet. i'm kinda curious as to what would happen if i get cheated on... hmmm.

new skin, again

2011-04-23T03:12:00.003+12:00

well, i guess i still love getting new skins and changing the template around. there's this undescribable satisfying feeling i get whenever i change skins and i customize a few things around to be exactly what i want, and then i check my blog and it looks exactly the way i want it to. god, i didn't even make sense just then.

fun day at work today - lovely smiley got each of us an easter bunny nose complete with the fluffy ears. i shall miss him when he's gone. and i hope the new guy sticks around, he had a bad day today ): but i got a free milkshake. hee-haa.

and also the apartment manager put a cadbury easter bunny in each of our mailboxes. I LOVE THIS FREE CHOCOLATE DAY. and i'm also excited because mr josh is coming back in 2 days and his sister will be staying with us for a week. and i'm planning to go shopping with her on tuesday. excited? yes.

moving up here has had some of its scary moments, but is it worth it? again, yes.

oh, forgot something that happened yesterday. i was just at my work, scooping gelato into cups when suddenly the power went out. freaky stuff. worse, the display freezers the ice creams were on died as well so we had to do some emergency move-gelatos-to-back-freezer. also customers could only pay with cash for awhile. and then we closed. since it was only 8 me and vanessa decided to have a little thai food in some dodgy foodcourt. $10 marinated spicy beef on a hot plate? yes.

x

oh, you.

2011-04-21T21:29:00.004+12:00

well, josh went back to hamilton on wednesday morning and staying there until monday. he had some family stuff to do, and meeting up with the ham boys and etc. so now i'm just living with ye eun, and i miss him already ):

and last night when i was lying in bed alone, i got a text from him. and it made me smile stupidly and nearly cry as well ;

Babyy:) i love you..:) i was sitting on the couch today at home and felt like something was missing in my arm.. Just like how i feel right now with you not even beside me in bed. Miss you babyy:)

wonderful, wonderful man.

i love you so much babyy. miss you (:
xxx

love

2011-04-21T01:50:00.002+12:00

ahh, the most talked-about topic by bloggers. love, what it is, describing the symptoms of one falling into one, or trying to help others fall out of. i haven't blogged about anything at all lately. and i can use the 'i am always busy with shitloads of stuff to do' but, when you think about it, it only takes less than 20 minutes to blog normal length-blogs and to be honest, i have about a million spare 20 minutes everyday. i just use it for something else.

like watching family guy. because my new internet is awesome, i've downloaded all the seasons 6 to present. watching them over and over again, making josh wanna die, but they still make me laugh, so yeah. watching season 6 soon, so excited (: though i am alone at the moment and it's kinda creepy. i don't like being alone. i will never ever live alone in a house, ever. if i have to, then i'd get a dog and a cat. for company. at least they'll make some noise. although my cat used to do crazy shit during the night, making weird noises, and freaked me out even more. anyway.

because i have no life and still couldn't be bothered blogging, i watched a really old re-run of The Bachelorette yesterday. it was all about how she has to choose which guys to send home, and which guys impressed her, etc. i personally think this show is a joke, because if you really want to find love, you don't select a random group of normal-to-hot-looking guys to choose from. and, even more magically, that whole group of guys is madly in love with you and want to marry you. honestly, that doesn't happen in real life. guys fighting with each other and going through all these eliminations all in the hope of marrying one same girl?

anyway. so she was on a one-on-one date with one of the guy, and she was all like, 'i wanted to see if this date can tell me if i can love him or not.' and so they went on the date, and in the end of it, he got eliminated, because 'i can't see myself falling in love with him, there's no connection at all, no possible physical/emotional attraction other than just being friends.' and then i laughed. i laughed because she sounded just like me nearly 2 years ago.

back in june/july/august of 2009, when i had some confusing shit with another guy, and so on and so forth, the typical story for a teenage girl trying to be noticed by that guy she's already in love with. i don't want to bring these up again now because they are nothing more than a memory, but it had something to do with the 'i don't see myself falling in love with him' quote. see, i pretty much said the exact same thing about my current boyfriend. he was my bestfriend that time, and i pretty much treated him like one of the girls, to his dismay, but we were great as friends and i told him everything, and we hung out, and then all those shits with the other guy happened, and then my girl bestfriend suggested why don't i try it with that guy, and that's when i said it. 'he's my bestfriend. i like him a lot, but not in that way. i just cant see me feeling that way about him.'

well, turns out i was way wrong. some more shits happened with some other people, and i ended up realising that i had a bit of a crush on him, and so we tried it out. and now, 1 year 7 months and 19 days later, still going strong. i am truly madly in love with him and i love him so much, he makes me happy. i guess all i want to say is you don't know anything. especially with feelings, you don't control that shit at all. even if you're a genius with a massively high IQ, it still doesn't affect how you feel about a certain person, and how that feeling can change over time. i can easily say 'i love him forever, i'll be with him forever' but i already know its not set in stone. yes, i HOPE i can be with him forever. yes, at the moment i'm very happy with him and planning to love him until the foreseeable future. but no, i dont know who i'm gonna meet later in life that might change my feelings. its sad to think that a relationship can't have a definite ending, but i guess thats life. if you already know how your life's gonna end, then there's no point living it.

rah, rah rahhh.
i love you, joshua r lawson. mwahhh xx

new life ?

2011-03-08T11:38:00.002+13:00

well hello there (:

it's been quite awhile since i last blogged... because i didnt have time, because of course, i was in the process of moving out.

and now i am here, in auckland, busiest city in new zealand, flatting with josh and my korean friend ye eun. how did this happen?

no one will ever know. i myself am not quite sure what actually happened since everything happened so fast. my mum knows now, of course. i can't just move out without telling her, cuz that'll just be really bad. the conversation went a bit better than expected actually, considering i told her using e-mail.

i know, i know, i'm a bad daughter. but i think, now, it was the best thing i could've done. we're both really hot tempered with each other, and if i had tried to say all those stuff in person, i probably would've said it wrongly, or said it rudely, or whatever, and it would just turn into another yelling session. with the e-mail i explained everything in a nice way and even remember to include ~~mostly~~ everything. so it was allgood.

she was upset for awhile, but she got over it in the end. well, sort of. she even went up with us when we were moving our stuff into the apartment. it's quite small but i'm happy, more space means more cleaning! and no more parents, i know that sounds bad but it's fun when you have no one to boss you around. you can do whatever you want now, literally. or is it realitically? lol i dont know. but now we can just stroll around town at whatever hour we feel like, and stay wherever as long as we want. no more "oh shit it's nearly 5 mum's gonna kill me if i dont go home right now" stuff.

at the moment the biggest issue is money, since i have rent and bills to pay. i've applied to lots of jobs and i have a recruitment thing tonight :D it's about weight loss and nutrition coaching (?) so i really don't know what to expect. but it said no experience neccessary so it should be fun, right? i'd rather be doing retail assistant kinda thing but i guess valleygirl isn't gonna call back.

i miss you celine ): hope you're having fun there, my little croissant muffin

I LOVE YOU JOSH.

2011-01-31T14:54:00.004+13:00

having serious panic attacks lately because time is closing in and this is it, it's actually happening. it's not a 'next-year' thing anymore, it's more like in the next couple of weeks. i am actually moving out.

and my mom doesn't know.

how fucked up is this? i may have reasons and excuses as to why she doesn't know about my big life-changing plans yet, but still, it's gonna happen soon and the sooner i tell her, the better. after all, i'm not asking for permission anymore, i'm telling her what i'm doing with my life. and i've just finished applying for student loan/student allowance so that the government can help me survive living on my own (lol)

she's been away for the last 5 days and although i admit, i feel guilty and bad for doing this, i have been out pretty much the whole time. after work i go out and come back late, or one time i stayed out at mitch's, and then celine and josh slept over one night. i know she told me not to go out/have friends over while she's not here, well, sorry, these are pretty much the only chance i get to have fun properly and not have to worry about what time it is. what she doesn't know wont hurt her and all that.

my bestfriend for 5 years is leaving to france. in 3 weeks.

ohyeah. life is AWESOME, not. i have it good at the moment because my boyfriend and my bestfriend get along awesomely, and they can be described as best friends too. so we can all hang out together and i'd be very happy. but now one member of the group is leaving... it's not fun, but i'd study hard and get rich, and then i can visit her wherever she is (:

random= have watched Despicable Me at least 7 times now. no kidding, the cutest movie of all time, especially Agnes and the minions. why would anyone NOT adopt Agnes, ??? goes to show life is unfair.

516 days with lovely JoshLawson today.
x

2011-01-23T20:53:00.004+13:00

woke up at 2 pm today.. no kidding. felt weird because it was suddenly 5.30 and boom, sunday is nearly all gone. ohwell, stayed up clubbing until 1.30 last night so i needed some rest anyway (:

happy birthday ricardo!

anyway. still looking for apartments... it's actually hard. ohwell. if other people can do it, so can i.

i received my scores today.. uni entrance! yay so happy. now just need to make some payments so i can get accepted to AUT (:

just sold 2 of my heels. byebye )': ohwell, i dont wear them anyway, and i get some extra $. god knows i need heaps of those.

valentine's day 2011 coming up bitches (:

Elizabeth: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.
Jack: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

some more deep stuff

2011-01-16T00:10:00.004+13:00

life is great, but it's also scary how sometimes life can just sneak up on you and boom, there it is.

okay, that doesn't really make sense. it's more like time runs past you when you turn around, and when you turn back around boom, you're suddenly faced with reality, and you wonder 'how the hell is this here already?'

like when i went to auckland to look at apartments. the agents people kept saying stuff like when are you going to move in? next week, next month? answer= around in 3 weeks to a month. 3 weeks to a month.

am i really going away in that small period of time? change my life forever, and possibly also a few relationships with my family? will it change that much? will it be a good change?

i dont know. only i can make it a good thing/bad thing. since i'm still living it, i still control it and so i can make it whatever i want to be. i can be lazy and have a bad year, or i can work hard and make it all better in the end and in the future. and cuz life is unpredictable, i can work hard and still, some bad shit can happen that will ruin it all. but what i can DEFINITELY do is make the most of it and enjoy it, because it wont be worth it if i dont.

and still everyday i ask myself, am i doing the right thing for me? moving out would be scary. living with friends would be fun, but also scary. having no one to tell you what to do is awesome, and also scary as shit, because if you get stuck and don't know what to do, what do you do? no one to help you through. ohwell, other people my age and younger have moved out in this world and survived, so i can do it too.

i hope.

Listen - Beyonce

2011-01-11T15:58:00.003+13:00

check out this song. amazing stuff

war happening at home.. same old, same old. just a few more weeks and i'll be outta here anyway. the government will take care of me anyway (: I LOVE NEW ZEALAND

didnt come home the night before because of stupid shit happening at home. you dont listen to me, mum. whenever we have 'a talk' its not really true. you had a talk, i had a listen.

today=
m= do u have work tomorrow?
k= no, work starts thursday.
m= oh, so you have nothing to do tomorrow.
k= josh and his family asked me to go to auckland tomorrow.
m= and?
k= and so i'm going to auckland tomorrow
m= you havent even asked my permission
k= i just told you just now.
m= but you havent asked my permission to go
k= okaaaaaayy
m= (pause) we need to have a talk.
k= yes we do.

blahblah. i might sound rude but honestly, this kinda shit has been going on for years. i've put up with it for quite awhile, just accepting it. now im fighting back.

boom

2011-01-02T10:56:00.002+13:00

hahaha, sometimes i wish i had a special superpower, a superpower that will let me make whoever is pissing me off disappear or something. will make life a tiny bit bearable

why are there so many annoying people in this world?

new year's res?

2011-01-01T20:55:00.003+13:00

i didnt even remember about this at all, but i saw agita's post made me want to make one (:

okay, let's see..

Keyne New Year's Resolution for 2O11
1 be nicer to everyone :D
2 try my best in whatever i do, and not give up
3 SAVE MY MONEY - NO MORE IMPULSE BUYS
4 manage money well so i can make my payments.
5 concentrate on my studies and try to not get too distracted by social life..
6 enjoy life (:
7 use new freedom accordingly and responsibly.
8 get a good part time job to help the financials
9 get restricted license!
1O stay with josh.

2011-01-01T00:37:00.001+13:00

happy new year bitches (:

i love ~~most~~ everyone :D

x

meh

2010-12-31T18:15:00.003+13:00

wow, it is amazing how unbelievably gay my new year's eve day is going. i have more fun at school on a monday in a calculus test. honestly

things pissing me off
this unbelievably gay boring day
waiting for acceptance at AUT
her
HER
its so hot, freaking hell
FACEBOOK ACCOUNT DISABLED
cant go out
missing out on waihi
celine going away
her
gay gay stuff
annoying people
EVERYTHING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH not a good week.

i just wanna see you since its new years eve. i've come over so many times and i just want you to come over just this once. i know you dont like coming over but im sorry for hoping. you haven't come over in ages. GOD IT IS SO BLOODY HOT

HAPPY new year

2010-12-31T15:40:00.004+13:00

yay it's new year's eve today and stupid facebook people still haven't returned my account, so can't talk to anyone about anything oh life is so fair.

and i can't help but think that some asshole reported my facebook for some reason, as i don't think anything i put/did there myself was offensive enough for this to happen. or someone hacked into it and did some crazy shit, whatever. just give the account back to me i'd like to check and see how my SHOPS are going.

hope next year goes the way we all want. although it is proven impossible for everyone to be happy. for every person who's happy, someone isn't. so yeah. neverending circle of shitness.

I AM SO PISSED.

F-book

2010-12-28T12:53:00.003+13:00

it is official.. as of yesterday, the facebook team disabled my account.

THANKYOU. NOW I CAN GET BACK TO MY NON EXISTING LIFE.

apparently i uploaded a photo that violates their stupid terms and condition. i feel that i have not uploaded any photos that would've offended anybody so much that my whole account would be disabled. i read their thing and it said they don't like photos with nudity, drug use, violence, insulting to a group of ppl, etc. do you know how many profiles i've been through where they have a whole album of them doing smoke rings? or those socalled 'drug use' ?? yeah, cuz i'll put naked photos of me on facebook WHERE ALL MY FAMILIES CAN SEE THEM.

also another reason, they said, that my account was disabled was because of the fake name. ok, i kinda get that part, cuz nico told me to change my name to Keyne West so if people just have one look it'll look like Kanye West. that is all. no other intention, just to be funny. you gonna take my account down for that? why dont you look around, and you'll find like 2358 Lovely Princesses and Cute Lovelys as the names for many profiles. and also don't get me started on people using someone else's photo to front their profile. i have seen about 9 profiles with the same girl on the prof pic. why dont you go take them down?

and what about those people who use facebook as a way to sell their stuff? 'Lovely Shop' or whatever and all they are is a business having pretty much a free website and a lot of customers to buy their stuff. why don't you take them down, huh?

also apparently, i read today, you're not allowed to have more than 1 profile for yourself. or you'll be taken down. HAHA DE HAHA WHAT A JOKE. so many of my friends have way more than 1 account. why is that okay then?

i am a good facebook user. that is probably kinda sad, cuz i will have no life, but i am. i go on it whenever i can and i certainly dont do anything that violates whatever rule you have, cuz i'm not stupid and not looking for trouble. i've sent an email to you about how you totally disabled my account for no reason whatsoever, and i really want to see the photo i uploaded that 'violates your photo conditions' because i want to laugh. because it is stupid. it's like in my school when people get detention for not wearing blazers, while they should be busy looking into the people smoking in the bathrooms.

the end.

truth and lies

2010-12-12T15:38:00.002+13:00

is it considered 'lying' if you simply didn't say anything?

'lying' means telling something other than the truth purposely. so if you don't even say anything at all, is it still lying? cuz you didn't actually say a fake truth. you just didnt say anything. and what about the quote 'what they don't know won't hurt them' ?

sometimes it's hard to know how far you will go, and how far to stretch the boundaries etc. some stuff parents don't know will definitely never hurt them, cuz it's not that significant. but some other stuff might. and we all know that sometimes it's better for them not to know anything because they'll worry too much and get all panicky for no reason, like some parents do.

whatever.

had a great day yesterday. work, then josh's house for a movie REC 2. some spanish scary movie about demons/zombies, pretty cool and scary. then how to train your dragon, the cutest movie about cute dragons ever. then got driven to my house, where i ran in and changed quickly to my dress and grabbed all the accesories i needed and got driven to mike's 21st. FUN TIMES (: fun old-school party games in groups, pictionary, code&puzzle team games.. the dessert was heavenly. so many yummy options= jelly, apple crumble, hot chocolate pudding, pavlova, muffins, fruit salad... i got 2 plates of all of them HAHA. i didnt care that i was gonna get fat, cuz the dessert was just too yummy.

"i've got you. i will always have you, baby."

i love you, josh. that's what you said to me last night (: i was on your lap and i fell epicly, when you caught my arms and pulled me back up. then you said that, with an expression on your face that took my breath away. so i did what i would've done... started crying.

which freaked you out for awhile. but then you realised it was crying for happiness. so you didnt mind. no matter what happens, i will never, ever regret you.

happy

2010-12-05T01:13:00.002+13:00

indian accents.
"stop it, i don't like it"
mo-quitos.
"i hate you!" "aww, but i like you (:"
inside jokes.
"hurry up jesus"
cooking mama.
"kiss me, bitch."
scary movies with the boyfriend.
going on illegal rides.
the boyfriend.
the 3 bitches.
being loud & screaming with the radio on the illegal car ride, then shutted up and turned radio off when a police car was spotted.
"fuck you!" "oh sure! when and where?"
long phone calls
video calling (:
shopping with lotsa money.
illegally downloading something.
illegally doing something.
being able to diss someone completely and getting away with it.
seeing people i know when going out.
birthday presents.
parties.

being in love.

the not-so-good-stuff

2010-12-05T01:06:00.004+13:00

mostly about money. grrr, money problems. wish i had unlimited amount of money and my problems will all go away.

$ NCEA fees + late penalty fee 125
$ stats book missing fee 25
$ library late book fee 30
$ next year living costs shitloads of money

- also need to call AUT and ask about foundation course
- find a job in auckland so i can live and EAT
- find a way to move out of home alive
- make sure i get accepted in my course next year... make sure i know exactly what i want to do in life
- call IRD and change my tax code

honestly don't know how i got through my days without you babe .

amazing week

2010-12-05T00:51:00.002+13:00

had an awesome week this week.

spent 7.30 am - 5.30 pm with beloved boy everyday, monday to saturday... had the ball and graduation on friday night (: the ball was pretty amazing, good songs, good photos, good friends and awesome boyfriend (: he really makes me happy. this doesn't mean my life is going great. actually its not going.. at all. in some ways.

my party went well. a few problems/dramas here and there, but what's a party without one? it was fun and i'm quite happy with it, some cool memories there, assisting the photos. then the going to his house and having a bit of a sleep together in the mornings.. :D all the early wake ups and bus rides are totally worth it. just joining him in the bed and having a sleep! then spend the days watching movies/playing pokemon/and such.

especially today :D today wouldn't be forgotten very quickly. went to his house as normal, joined him in bed, and i fully fell asleep cuz that's how tired i was. he got up after awhile and i woke up for a bit when i felt him get out of the bed, but i stayed in bed cuz i wanted more sleep.. the blanket got thrown off when he got out and in my head i was going 'please come back and put the blanket back on me, please dont just walk off' and the sweetie got up, turned around and tidied up the blanket right away (: made me very happy. then he just played pokemon on his computer, and i fell back asleep immediately. some times later, i got woken up by a kiss on my lips (: opened my eyes, saw his face and couldn't stop smiling, even though i was still sleepy as hell and couldn't get up/say anything. he was grinning, and then he tucked me in again, doing that thing with the blanket where he tucked it right up under my chin. love moment , never to be forgotten forever.

it's nice to know there are still boys in this world who aren't assholes. boys who don't just want sex, boys who actually like you for who you are and care for you deeply. i used to have no hope on boys until i met some pretty amazing ones. some of my lucky friends have those boys on their arms as well, and it's really nice to know that your friends are in a good, secure relationship, with the right boy and that they won't be heartbroken or anything.

i like how i can be around you without any make-up on. i like how you've seen me
all drenched, hair plastered uglily all over my face and still can't resist
kissing me. i like how you've seen me first thing in the morning when i've just
woken up and the first thing i see is your smiling face.. i love how i've found
you and how you restored my faith in guys. i love how i know that you're the
right guy and that i'm not ever letting you go. i love how you know exactly how
to make me smile (: i love how you make me feel. i love you.

i love you.

i like my beats fast, and my bass down low

2010-11-27T02:12:00.009+13:00

having pretty coolio days lately. had my last exam on thursday, freaking calculus OVER AND DONE WITH; yea. my party is tomorrow (: i hope it wont suck ! ohwell alcohol will be there to assist with the entertainment. hahahaha.

chilled with boytwan today. have not seen him in a couple years. but when we saw each other again, it was like nothing had changed. just chilled normally like we did before. so that was pretty cool, some funny stuff happened that i'm not allowed to bring up again ever, so i wont say it. chilled at the base, then burger king, then he dropped me back to town and i hanged with josh, marty and charles. marty went home and the rest of us just went around dick smith/jb hi fi etc. guy shops.

josh bought me a hello kitty plushy (: i named her Pinky. here is why=

a list of keyne's fave plushys.

the newest ones: Mr Happy from Ye Eun ; Pinky from Josh

mostly pink except for the honey bear one, haha. the rightest one is from josh, valentine present (: have not decided on a name.

now for some random photos. just cuz i was bored.

some leftover balloons for the party tomorrow. you cant go wrong with balloons. had to keep them in my room cuz of the cat in the living room (: with her claws it'll be like a balloon popping spree. lol.

my bedroom wall ! nearly finished. its full of the randomest things you can ever find.

i got green contacts ! cuz its about time i make my eyes look pretty for a change. black eyes are, well, boring.sorry btw, bad photo. but they last for a year, and only $14.95 . so there.

so yeah. fun days ahead. bring on summer 2011.
sun, beach, sunnies, short shorts, ice cream, friends, boyfriend, shopping, party.

2010-11-23T10:39:00.003+13:00

i have made a plan to go to the hairdresser's on thursday after i finish with my calculus exam. yes. make this fringe/stupid syle get better, just in time before the party and photos.

green/purple contacts for the party? hmmm. depends on the dress.

so, therefore, going dress shopping on saturday, a few hours before the party starts. yes, it wouldn't be me if i didn't do things last-minutely.

IF I WERE A CAT, WHERE WOULD I GO ?

you're the only one that i want (:

2010-11-23T10:31:00.002+13:00

the haps.

1 being absolutely unmotivated. got classical studies exam tomorrow, which means shitloads of stuff needs to be memorised. i would actually rather do some calculus equations, tbh. dunno why, just cbf remembering useless shit. why did i take classics? cuz i was gonna go to egypt etc and dig out archaelogical stuff? cuz i'll be a classics teacher? no. i thought their credits can count towards my not-enough literacy credits. one, i actually already have enough of those to go to college. two, THEY DONT COUNT.

2 instead i'm on It Girl trying to figure out how to get more money so i can buy the stuff in the shops. fun game (: and annoying sometimes.

3 facebook wont let me add anymore friends/fan pages because 'i have too many'. bulleffingshit! some people have like 5000 friends and still going. i dont even have half of that.

4 waiting for the day i will have my contacts in my grasp. MUAHAHAHHA.

5 i hope my party wont be lame ): nothing more embarassing than being the host of an extra-lame party.

6 experimented with my fringe before i got in the shower this morning. now i REALLY NEED a haircut. someone come save me.

7 countdown to josh going away, ~~8 days~~.

oh, and one more thing..

8 my stupid cat ran away.

life lately

2010-11-22T15:27:00.002+13:00

update on my life...

. we adopted a cat yesterday (: her name's Chippi and she's about 4-5 years old..
. i've been going to josh's house at 7.30 in the morning and sleeping in his arms... *SNUGGLE* and spend whole days together..
. i've got 2 more exams to go, then i'm gonna focus fully on my partyy !!!
. i bought 2 contact lenses (: one purple pair, and another green prescription pair (: imma wear the purple ones for my party !!! hope it gets delivered here before saturday..
. we might be getting a pomeranian as well. AHAHA i cant wait..
. had my first EyeToy experience the other day. super crack up.
. life is pretty awesome at the moment. except for the whole 2 exams left.. and not sure about next year.. and etc.. but yeah, pretty awesome.

BIRTHDAY WISHLIST
. pink digital camera !
. a pomeranian puppy..
. $$$$$
. jewellery, clothes, shoes, etc
. pink laptop with built in camera !!
. not sure what else... any pink girl stuff? :D

some days

2010-11-16T00:35:00.003+13:00

isn't it funny how this works?

some days you can be sweet. like, really sweet. you can be so sweet that i can just either eat you all up/smother you with sweetness back or just be totally happy. and some other days you are just the most charming, nicest all-smiles boy in the whole world. you are also skilled to be the most loving person, making me really happy, all lovey-dovey and all sweet, spices and everything nice.

and then, some other days, you make me just want to rip someone's head off.

or tear something up. beat something/someone until they're completely unrecognisable. especially when you don't know how your words/lack thereof will make me feel, will affect me. at times when you dont seem like you dont give a shit. maybe you say 'oh, you know i always care,' bla bla bla, WELL AT TIMES IT DOESNT SEEM THAT WAY OKAY. there are times when the 'signs' your giving out doesnt spell out i care for you at all. so how am i supposed to know?

i am not going to text/call/see/whatever you first, as of today. see what you would do. see if you would even notice. i hope you'll have fun playing at the NETCAFE. dont know why guys are so freaking drawn to this place. if it was a strip club, yes, i get the reason. but that shit. those netcafe owners must get a lot of profits from basically all the 14-20 year old guys in this whole freaking world. i go in that place sometimes, for you, and i dont complain, i try to enjoy it and even find some sort of fun from it. so why cant you do the same when we go to 'girl' shops? i dont grumble and act annoyed and pissed and bored whenever we go to some appliance store or electronics or some shit. even if your not enjoying it why dont you let me have the fun sometimes ???

its not a nice feeling, by the way, wanting to rip something to shreds/puching the hell out of something/being plain pissed off and you know it, but your not doing anything about it - right in the middle of the night. 12.42 and i cant sleep because of this annoying angry feeling. i was actually all nicely tucked up in bed, but my thoughts just kept going over these angry stuff and i got out again, took out the laptop and attacked the keyboard with these ANGRY WORDS. maybe i should turn this around and see how you would react if i did some things you did. SOME DAYS HUH.

thankfully, the good-days still outnumber the bad-days by far.

2010-11-03T22:54:00.002+13:00

just 5 specific wishes this time. nothing too flashy-flashy.

1 i move out to auckland and flat with josh, hassle-free.

this might be stretching it a bit far. but it is, after all, just a wish.
2 i get a good job in auckland so i can live well and not get too stressed/tired and can still enjoy my teenage life
this isn't that far-stretched. might happen, with some luck.
3 miraculously my 'cancelled' application went through and they accept me into AUT.
this one might be a bit bullshit, seeing as how i email-ed them and never got any reply. and the last day for knowing what happens to your application was yesterday. and i didnt hear shit.
4 all my end-of-year exams/externals get good marks.
this is more up to me, ha. ohwell, i'll try hard.
5 i keep my relationships with everyone i want. or make it better. whatever.
kinda hard, with friends going off to all parts of the world. but yeah (:

they say 'writing your feelings down' can make you better, but i dont feel the slightest bit relieved? i need reassurence, to know everything will be okay, to know its not the end of the world, just to KNOW.

life=

2010-11-03T22:47:00.004+13:00

it just kinda set in how hard life is. its hard (: the hardest part is choosing the right decisions... especially when you're being pressured to choose one. maybe if everyone left me alone i would actually make a decision that I want ...

life isn't fair, either. it is a bitch. and will turn around and stab you in the back sometimes. but it can also make you feel really good and happy... and that is why it is a fake, fake bitch. and people say life is a roller coaster, cuz of the ups and downs.. bullshit. roller coasters are fun, when you're speeding straight to the ground it's fun and exciting, and after a second you're back on your way up again. life isn't the same. when you're on the bottom its no fun at all, it makes you depressed and it takes ages sometimes to get back up... so no, it is in no way at all like a roller coaster.

sigh, life. hope everything will be worth this.

I HATE YOU

2010-11-01T22:48:00.002+13:00

life sucks balls

a;ritnvalweirtnvawoi4nvuolawiohtfbalkwhtvnklawu45io3475oiwvbasincvasasgh;agh;agvnvasgh;achi;arv;tna;iortvha

out of ALL THE OTHER FREAKING APPLICANTS, i have to be the only one who got my application fucked up

EVERYONE ELSE i know already got interviews/accepted/rejected but i havent heard SHIT and when i checked my status it said that my application is CANCELLED. WT F they already got the order right and now they cancelled my application? what about the portfolio??? and then i emailed the lady who is supposed to be in charge of this shit and she didnt email me back, and tomorrow's the day when everyone's gonna know their result and they probably threw away my portfolio cuz apparently the application is CANCELLED.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH ao;irtnvlahnvlishtnlaw48568cv376cvqwe4 mother fucker.

im telling you, these kind of unnecessary, annoying bad-luck shits always happen to me. ALWAYS. thanks to this, now i have to call them or something and sort it out, wasting money and time while i can just sit back like everyone else and get the news delivered to me. BLAH BLAH BLAH eff you a million times.

GRRR.

Just The Way I Am

2010-11-01T09:48:00.003+13:00

oh, my eyes, my eyes make the stars look like they're not shining
my hair, my hair falls perfectly without me trying
i'm so beautiful, and i tell you everyday

yeah, i know, i know when i compliment me you don't believe it
and its so, its so sad to think that you dont see what i see
but everytime you ask me if i look okay, i say

when i see my face
there's not a thing that i would change
cuz i'm amazing
just the way i am
and when i smile,
the whole world stops and stares for awhile
cuz i'm amazing, just the way i am

my lips, my lips, i could kiss them all day if i let me
my laugh, my laugh, people hate but i think it's so sexy
i'm so beautiful, and i tell you everyday

oh, i know i know i know i'd never want me to change
if perfect's what you're searching for then i'll stay the same
so, don't even bother asking if i look okay
you know i'll say

when i see my face, there's not a thing that i would change
cuz i'm amazing just the way i am
and when i smile
the whole world stops and stares for awhile
cuz i'm amazing just the way i am.

YEAH

funny how BARF the song is now, just by changing a few words (:

teehee (:

2010-10-28T09:51:00.003+13:00

first of all, i just want to say that Ryan Higa is great. i can only wish that he would ever visit NZ and even film here or something. and i can be one of the extras in the movie. who knows (: i've watched most of his videos and he's the funniest thing alive, all his videos are crack up :D

well yesterday was quite an adventure. got to school, immediately felt like going back home, and so wrote a note saying i have a university interview and therefore will be picked up at 11. after period 2 i went to student centre and signed out, then took the bus and surprised josh by showing up at his house (: stayed there until around 1 when we took the bus back to his school, and i went home. so yeah, not that exciting, but still 425093486 times more exciting than staying at school learning how to work out the cooling down rate of a human body or some shit we're learning in calculus at the moment.

planning my birthday party (: turning 18 next month exactly. cannot wait.

how do you even begin to describe this feeling

2010-10-25T20:14:00.004+13:00

i have just had the best weekend in my life. i missed school on Friday and stayed home, packed and got ready for my fabulous fun-filled long weekend. josh's parents and sister came to pick me up around 11, and i went off with them to auckland, stopping first at huntly to buy breakfast. then we got to auckland and dropped off our stuff at the hotel. alexis had a pageant photoshoot so we went to the place at 1ish, about an hour early, but ohwell it was fun. she had her photoshoot and i saw all the other pageant contestants, most of them really pretty and all of them way shorter than me, even with mega heels. so that pissed me off a little bit, but i didnt really care. after the photoshoot we went to some mall where the girls got changed to their cocktail dresses and i walked around the shops, being bored. then we went to the Filipino event where the girls introduced themselves and etc. food was good (: then finally at around 9 we went to the bus station to pick up josh who had just gotten there by bus with chris...

so we went back to the hotel. went to get wendy's burgers at night, then some dunkin' donuts. went back to hotel, fell asleep in his arms (: super blissful. woke up next morning, got ready for armageddon. picked up chris and got dropped off at the place. stayed there until around 4, then we had to get dinner and go to the fiesta event, where they had a hip hop dancing competition, and the pageant girls show off their talents. so that was pretty cool, and then after that went back to hotel and fell asleep with josh holding me again. next day, same story, but left armageddon earlier (around 1.30) and had lunch, then me and josh watched paranormal activity 2 at the movies D: scariest shit ever. HOLY SHIT. then we went back to the hotel and got changed for the pageant event that night... had a mini dinner, then to the show.. it was really fun cuz we were yelling out alexis' name and screaming really loud HAHA. so that was finished and went back to hotel, slept happily again, next morning we got ready to sign out from the hotel, put stuff back into the car and went to Sylvia park. after lunch we looked around quickly then drove back home.

it may not sound that exciting but it was. especially the fact that i was with my baby the whole weekend (: best time ever. but now i feel really weird. i feel like crying all the time and there's this huge feeling of sadness, though i'm not sure where its from. i've had it since i got back home. and i miss Josh more than ever. is that even possible? i've had him for the whole weekend and instead of being satisfied, i want him even more?

josh= "i'm ticklish too much" hahahha you are such a cute noob. i love you baby (:

love is really the scariest thing in the world. it consumes you up completely and like pretty much eats every single pieces until its like all drowned or something and you have nowhere to escape to. its like when you're in love thats all you are, you have no space for anything else going on. so it really is all or nothing. and now i'm scared, even though i know he is a good guy and hes not like some asshole who isnt serious about us. but giving your heart to someone else is still a big risk... ):

forever and always.

yahha yahha yahha

2010-10-21T11:40:00.003+13:00

i was a flight risk, with a fear of falling
wondering why we bother with love, if it never last.
mine taylorswift

i want to move out next year and live in auckland.. i want to flat with josh & chris and other friends. i want to be accepted into AUT so i can get enough student allowance to be able to pay my rent weekly. i want to get a job, one thats not too stressful but pays enough, so i can pay for my food/shopping cost/transportation etc. i want mum to let me go without any hassle cuz its stressful enough already. i want to go with josh to labour weekend and come back monday. I WANT.

i guess then if you stop wanting, you stop living.

life is ~~sometimes~~ great.

yes, it's me

2010-10-20T10:36:00.004+13:00

blogging again after about a million years of non-blogging. i have to admit i miss blogging, though most of the time the feeling isn't strong enough to make me go all the way to my room, turn on the laptop and wait for it to load and go on the website and start typing. usually facebook distracts me from everything, but hey. blogging is pretty much the same.

answer.
question = what's the point of living if you already have everything? there's nothing to look forward to. nothing to be excited about. you're pretty much done in this life.

food craving = feeling full at the moment. but a chocolate shake would be fine. or a mint cookies ice cream.

general craving = josh. money. freedom.

quote = "i really want to have your babies" - inside joke.

feeling = full. worried about weekend.. broke.

missing = GABY SELLA kenny etc.

wishing = shorter, prettier, smarter, richer, you know. the usuals

there's the Great Labour Weekend happening this weekend and i've got about a billion plans on how to spend it, but most likely they aren't gonna happen. it's all up to mother, really. staying up with josh's family in auckland for 3 days might be abit much for her. but iunno. maybe miraculously it will work.

if not, then i'll probably bus to auckland with josh and chris either afterschool friday or saturday morning at 4.55am. naturally, i prefer the afterschool friday. waking up at 4 and walking to town is a bit much for me. so yeah, still not sure what to do.. as long as i am with josh.

you were being so cute yesterday baby. picking me up at the park and chasing me around... YOU ARE THE BEST AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER x

GAB. i MISSSSSS YOUUUUU x
ketemunya kapan nih. tak suruh ngirim jet pribadiku tp lagi dipinjem sama donghae. jadi ya harus nunggu.

<3

so over it.

2010-09-08T10:40:00.009+12:00

so, saw my twin did this on her blog. looked pretty fun and interesting. so i shall do it too.

9 facts about keyne

1 i wanna change my haircut. not sure what to though. i have a coupla ideas:

i really like this hairstyle.

would they suit me though?! thats another story. they certainly look good on the people they're on, but what about when they're on my head?! thats why i didn't wanna go for a drastic change of look. might scare people. even myself.

2 i eat corn things kernel by kernel. is kernel the word for it? but you know, the yellow things on a corn cob. like i pull them off one by one and eat them. i don't usually bite them off.

3 i am loud ): but according to josh only. everyone else seems to be fine with my volume.

4 i very much enjoy just wasting my time on some funny website. like http://fuckyeahfunnythings.tumblr.com. i promise you, if you check out this website you'll be addicted to it and just crack up by yourself all night long. i browsed through their entire archive just in 2 nights because i couldn't stop. they have stuff like these:

too funny.
even the most depressed person would have to crack a smile at this.

5 i very much love josh (: until the end of time. i had one of the best days ever with him yesterday afterschool. he was mega tickling me in public until i nearly died.. and ppl around us would've heard us and thought i was being raped. coz i was yelling "OMG STOP!! please stop.. please stop" etc and like being breathless coz he kept tickling etc. I LOVE YOU.

6 im really bad with managing money (: if i have money i'll spend it. if i have 20c i'll spend it. i owe my 10 year old sister $57.50. and at the moment trying to save up my money to buy josh a decent bday present.

7 i collect cute graphics/quotes/etc (: whenever i see them on internet i always save them. even if it's unsaveable, like i cant right click or whatever. then it would just take a Ctrl+PrintScrn, open Paint, paste, crop, save as. MINE.

8 there will be an epic war between me and my mother in the next couple of months, after she finds out i'm moving out next year. tickets on sale now.

9 piss me off and i will do the same, back atcha. just because you're in a shitty mood doesn't mean you have to piss everyone off. i cant stand annoying people.

rant

2010-08-24T09:48:00.003+12:00

do you know what i hate most?

1 stupid people. aka fakes, two-faced, etcetera. for example, if i dont like someone then i will most certainly not start a conversation with them. because talking to people i dont like make me get pissed off. and why would i make myself get annoyed voluntarily? if the said person talk to me first, then i will answer back because that's the polite thing to do. but then i'll try to get out of the convo asap. so i really dont understand those people who claim they 'really hate so-and-so' and bitch about so-and-so all day long, and then talk to them like they're the best of friends. W T F.

2 BITCHES. oh god, so many of them in this world. those stupid people who think they can get anyone they want. flirt around with everyone, get them all interested and then drop them. girls who are nice ONLY to boys and is a total bitch to the girls. who are you kidding ?! i also hate those ~~sluts~~ who brag about the boys they know. SO WHAT. omg you know and hang with like 39485 boys, omg, yay cool.

3 people who are just annoying. stupid people who don't know their place. i'm pretty sarcastic and i get pissed off easily by a person i dont like. and after awhile i'll get annoyed and start snapping off the other person, but the genius just wouldn't get it. oh, haha, keyne is so funny with her jokes. well guess what. they're not jokes. i'm trying to tell you as gently as possible that your being annoying, and you don't get it. SIGH.

4 people who are just unreasonable. not letting me do something for no reason. i dont get it! if there is a good reason why i can't do something, then say it. then i'll understand and accept, and even if i'm not happy at least i know there's a reason behind it. but saying i can't do something, and when i ask why you say 'just because i don't want you to', ?!???!?!! so my whole social life just depends on your mood? i can't do something i want because YOU don't want me to?

honestly, the lawnmower gets out of the house more than i do.

5 i dont like people who back out on plans. if it's been planned, then do it. what's the point of making plans when at the last minute they text with some dumb excuse why they're not coming or whatever. especially those people who don't show up 'because they dont feel like it'. respect others a little bit.

blah,blah,blah. the stress is getting to me. too many things to think about, way too many for a single brain to handle. so please take away the little annoying things in life i dont need at the moment.

week

2010-08-15T23:12:00.002+12:00

17 days until 1-year-anniv (:

had an ave week. not too busy, not floating around, nothing to do, having fun either. went to the National Barbershop Champions on thursday. so missed out on a whole day of school, and sat in Founders Theatre watching hot singing guys all day long :D all good.

and josh came! made me mega happy. i asked him to come before, but then his mum said he already missed alot of school, so he cant. so i got sad. but in the thursday morning he called and said he can go anyway :D so smiles all day long. chilled with him the whole day, also with erika and celine and awhile with joseph. and robbie as well.

we sang at around 2 ish. didnt think it was that good. and of course, all of us knew there was noway our group was gonna win. so yeah we just watched some more, then at 3.30 we gapped to town, coz we can (: josh went to his dentist appointment around 4.15, so me and celine chilled around town (getting crazy drunk in k-mart) and went back to the theatres around 5.30

but guess what. our chorus group won fifth place out of 15 !!!! AMAZING. wtf. blind, crazy hearing-impaired judges.

anyway. nothing much happened for the rest of the week. then today celine came over and we kinda half did the poster and half watched youtube videos. but we finished the poster anyway, then rushed down to the warehouse to get her food for cultural week, and then drove after my mum to some pot-luck dinner at someone's house. yum food. had this yoghurt-y ice cream thing for the dessert, with some canned fruits. YUM.

so yeah. not that much to report.
(:

bad keyne

2010-08-11T20:48:00.003+12:00

some habits of mine that i really should try and stop.

biting my nails. this is gross. it makes my nails all yuck and unattractive. but i really cant help it. even those 'yucky-tasting-nail-polish' doesnt work. i still bite them, especially when i'm bored or nervous.

procrastinating. not even sure how to spell this word. but i do this all the time. i am a true professional at doing this. if i apply to a university to study this course, they'll just take one look at me and hand me my PhD. or hire me as a lecturer. whatever. all i know is, no matter how big the project is, no matter how important, i still always, always end up doing it in the last second before it's due. tsk tsk tsk.

i get distracted. way too easily. 'ooh! shiny!' doesnt even begin to cover anything. if i walk somewhere and something itches, i will itch it, and when i'm done, i just turn to do something else. the original mission will be fully forgotten. facebook is the worst distractor. also this.

i think too much. i read into people's words and actions too deeply. they say one simple sentence; i turn to all the quotes and philosophies in the world to try to figure out the 'hidden meaning' behind that sentence. especially when it came to crushes. one 'suspicious' thing he says, next thing i know, i'm on some romance-advice website looking up articles like 'what men really thinks' or 'what men means when he says _' etc etc.

i get jealous. alot. everyones always ____er than me. and sometimes its true. but true or not, i should start loving and being grateful of what I have and those people don't. to make me feel better. like having a lovely boyfriend. having a pink phone i've always wanted. having a wall full of photos in my room. having a room. etc.

i worry about the future. i dont like change. im comfortable the way i am now. i'll live. but with change, who knows? it might be better. or it might be worse. you cant turn back time. but i've learned not to make the right decision every single time. cuz when you choose the wrong one, you'll learn something new, you learn your mistake. so you dont do a bigger, more serious one in the future. and that helps.

i dont listen in class. haha, this has always stuck by me. no matter how serious the class is, no matter what subject/scary teacher/important the lesson is, if i get bored once and my mind wanders off, i will never switch back to listening again. then it's decorating my diary time, or passing notes time, or texting secretly.

current

2010-08-11T12:12:00.002+12:00

question = would you stay with someone who makes you miserable ?

food craving = a cold ice lemon tea. or a choc heaven blend from robert harriss.

general craving = money. preferably unlimited

quote = people dont accept 'the truth' unless 'the truth' is something they want to hear.

feeling = itchy. thirsty. worried.

missing = josh. gaby. sella. friends in indo...

wishing = i was shorter. and prettier.

beautiful ball ♥

2010-08-11T11:47:00.009+12:00

the ball night finally came (: it was over way too soon. but then again, all good things have a tendency to do just that.

i had a purple dress, and the colour matched josh's tie perfectly. so it was all exciting and fabulous. we even took a little trip down to the little jewellery shop next to our school, and i found a purple masquerade-thing with purple feathers. and some purple earrings. everything matched perfectly!! earrings $5, mask thing $18. soooo good (: was so excited and happy.

ally, keyne, josh

mwah x

chris, ally, nico, marty, josh

keyne, josh, celine, nigel

celine, ?, keyne (lol)

iloveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyou

took a shower around 3ish, then started freaking out around 4, like i always do before ball/social. mike and sarah came over, mainly because mike needed his stuff back (i stole them), and also coz we havent seen each other in a while (: then sarah put my eyeshadow on because i did not possess such skill. anyway, at around 5.30 or 6 josh came, and so mike and sarah went home.

went with nico, josh and josh to get darwin and his balldate from the uni bustop. then we went to mitch's house.. after some pro girl curled my hair, we left to the ball place around 7.29 HAHA. it starts at 7.30. anyway, there were way too many people in the car- 8 seater, but there were nico, josh, darwin, juri, mitch, his date, aaron, his date, and me and josh. so yeah, whatever, mitch's house were close enough to uni.

got there. it was raining. great weather! whatever, we walked down with our umbrellas and the girls freaked out for awhile because we went through a puddle. then we got there, and found that we were actually quite early. shook hands with some people, etc, the building was quite cool, it had lots of different rooms, 2 for dancing and one for photo and a food hall thing and a place where there were carnival games. HAHA!

so yes, it was an awesome night. a perfect ball because i spent it with my fab friends and my favourite person in the world. ♥♥♥

oi.

2010-08-05T23:23:00.003+12:00

if you love, or even start to love someone, a part of them stays with you forever.
and because its forever, its never going to actually go away.
i probably started loving you. or like, fell deeply in like with you. so your not going away anytime soon.
whatever. whatever whatever whatever.

2 days until the ball.
you will not ruin it for me.

you amaze me.

2010-08-05T10:07:00.005+12:00

because you're amazing,

just the way you are.
- brunomars

am i childish? i think i'm kinda childish. or a lot childish. i'd like to think that i've grown up even a little bit since last year or whatever, and i've been looking at my friends' blogs and see that even their templates have grown up. so i decided "okay, no more pretty colours and drawings, i'll go and search a new grown up template with serious colours and theme." i ended up choosing this template. i was stuck between this and a grown-up one, with a nice, simple looking blog with 2 or 3 colours. and this one won.

i'll just make a list. if you know that your childish and you do some/all of the things i have in my list, please let me know. (:

1 i get bored easily.
2 i can't stay on the same place for ages without getting restless or whining.
3 i get distracted VERY easily.
4 an impulse buyer.
5 i like cartoons. no, not cool cartoons. like baby cartoons.
6 picture books are the best books ever (:
7 my thoughts are random as. you wont even know how i get to think some of the things i think about.
8 i say random things. RANDOM things.
9 i annoy people on purpose.
10 i do things BECAUSE ITS FUN and funny and because i can.
11 i say the lamest joke ever and laugh at it. by myself. while others look at me concernedly.
12 i still like pink.
13 happy endings do come true.

etc. i dont know anymore yet, ha.

currently: learning the piano for So Close - Jon McLaughlin. from that Enchanted movie. lalalalalove.
plans: going to Lina's at lunch. get my dress checked again. town after school with the boyfriend. back to school for a production i did not sign up for. yay. then im sitting my Learners on friday after school !!!!!!!! then the BALL on saturday. mike coming over around 5 to get his stolen thin Lizzy and spongebob DVDs.
i want to: change my fringe-style. grow shorter. or make everyone else taller. BE RICH. move out. buy that white-huge-pomeranian looking breed of dog.

iloveyou.

3 days until the ball.

2010-08-04T22:57:00.005+12:00

yes, we do call it a 'ball' here in NZ. prom, ball, dance, whatever. IT IS STILL EXCITING.

and i am excited. i havent blogged in what, months? since march. and i do have to say, i miss it. i miss typing away in this little box, taking my frustrations out on some pretty-looking blog page. i miss fully bitching about some bitch, or typing happily over a stupid crush, or whatever. there's just that irreplaceable feeling you get when you're blogging, i guess.

there's a St John's College Ball on saturday. and i've got all my stuff sorted just over the weekend. the new dress, shoes, accessories. theme=carnival. im going all purple, and i just have a feeling it's gonna be different as from last year's ball. i dont know why. lets just see if anything interesting happens. i will enjoy it anyway, because we'll be taking photos and laughing and dancing in our tight dresses and high heels. and we wont let some dumb bitches ruin it for us.

a glimpse of what we get up to in Classics class.
*talking about AD and BC etc*
K= lol how would they know when to start counting at 1?
E= what if some random person decided "okay, next year can be year 1!" and then make a name for it.
K= lol yeah, like BC.. or something else..
E= it can be like 1 After Jesus, AJ!

K= yeah and then we'll be in the time 1 Before Jesus, B...
E= .....
K= ok i guess we cant use that one.
E= thats probably the reason they put 'Before Christ' and not 'Before Jesus'.

iloveyou.

2010-03-31T09:17:00.002+13:00

I WANT OUT EVEN MORE NOW !!!!

before i was like around 96% sure im moving out next year. now its like 3846092735% sureness.

HOLY SHYT. i got fully raged on when i didnt do anything wrong. its getting worse. stop getting in the middle of this. its not your right to do so.

even talking about sending me back to indonesia. are you mofo serious? like thats gonna happen.

thankgod i still have my baby.

yerr

2010-03-22T09:43:00.003+13:00

i've just been playing Miami Nights 2 on my phone and loling at things and discussing asshole guys.

i just had to add that cuz you know, everyone wants to know. HAHAHA.

these photos make me laugh everytime.

what a weekend

2010-03-22T09:23:00.004+13:00

so close to reaching that famous happy ending
almost believing this one's not pretend
and now you're beside me, and look how far we've come.

my fab, fab weekend .

what happened .

Friday
Made A Fake Note And Went Home From School At Lunchtime
because josh had last period off. so yeah, went home etecera. all going to plan, josh came over, brother came over but that wasnt a problem, he didnt even know/care josh was already there. he went away with his friends, even better, home alone with josh.

then mum came home 2 hours earlier than expected, and found me and josh home alone, and thats when hell froze over.

i had a 'talk' about bla bla rules, living in the house and respecting myself etc. whatevs. then josh went home and she went out, coming back suspiciously in a wonderful mood, so i asked her if i can go to erin's drinks. she said yes.

Saturday
Frankton Markets.
went to frankton markets in the morning. got Maybelline Lash Stiletto for $1O har har. also bought a top/dress for the drinks, $15. so it was pretty good. got back home around 2/3ish? so yeh. pretty tired, didnt get to sleep in.

Erin's Drinks.
josh came over by bus at around 5ish. met up at the warehouse, he bought some chicken tenders from Hell Pizza. saw Selina, Steve, Jamie and her boyfriend there LOL. i bought some Impulse body spray. then walked back and got changed, etc, then at 7.45 mum dropped us off at Erin's. so yeah, talking to people i only knew previously from facebook, then celine came, and just yeah, lying there outside on the trampoline. that was fun. some drunk people made me lol/scared the shit outta me. adam is a dumbshit. patrick was so... drunk? omg.

then at around 12 celine went home. and we just partyed on, lol. set up beds around 1 ish. me and josh had the couch but ben stole it from us, so josh made a little bed thing behind the couch. HAHAHA suspicious much. then fell asleep listening to people bitching about each other. but i was happy cuz i fell asleep in josh's arms (: goodtimes indeed.

Sunday
Got Woken Up At 6.17.
honestly. had about like 24 minutes of sleep the whole night, everyone going to sleep properly at around 5, then at 6.17 they woke us up saying breakfast was ready. breakfast was good though, toast and bacon and spagetthi and those log cake things. mum called saying she's picking me up at 10 to go to the festival at ham gardens. i thought i was gonna die from exhaustion. so we got ready and waited for mum, she came at 11.3O. happydays. ohwell, i had fun.

Hamilton Gardens.
got there at around 12.3O, mum had to go help indonesian people set up the stall and sell food. so i walked around with josh, with only $2 cash to spend. nice. then saw celine, saw joseph, watched her dance, then andrei and bryle came right after celine's dance finished, perfect timing guys. so stayed there being baked in the sun until around 4/5. went home exhausted.

didnt sleep that long last night. woke up late this morning, around 8. texted josh to gap last period to meet me in town. turns out he was already gapping the whole day. HAHA I LOVE YOU. so towning after school. happy days.

i absolutely cannot wait for the social thursday night.

as requested by Gab.

2010-03-19T11:44:00.003+13:00

Declined
(to the tune of The Climb - Miley Cyrus)

i was almost crying,
my card got declined
when i went to buy a drink at
the indian dairy

only $1 in my bank,
only enough for a lolly,
dairy owner said 'your card is declined
just buy a lolly'

but I, I was so thirsty
i'll wait for my monthly intereeesst

*chorus
cuz theres always gonna be another 10 cents
if i just wait for a little while
right now i'll just hold in my thirst
or steal Erika's drink
but when will my interests be enough?
will it be when my friend Celine grooow.. grooww.. growww
its declined

(gab, disini tuh yg punya dairy org india smua. sumpah. tau dairy kan? kaya mini market gt. trus temenku Celine tuh pendek bgt. dr dulu dia pengen jd lebih tinggi tp gbisa. HAHAH)

Can I Have One Dollar Fifty?
(to the tune of Can I Have This Dance? - HSM 3)

take my hand,
take a deep breath,
pull my shoes,
close your nose,
cuz it smells
like... your face
and i'm sorry, if the smell kills you

and can you promise me, (pls promise to take a shower)
and change your socks or buy some new ones

*chorus
its like catching the flu the chances of dying from a bad smell
its like one dollar fifty the cheap, cheap price of your face
but my card got declined, so i have no money
so can i have $1.50?
can i have... $1.50?

ahahah another inside joke.

model in the making LAWL

2010-03-18T09:08:00.006+13:00

it aint perfect, but its worth it

and its always getting better
its gonna take some time to get it right

cuz im still learning the art of love
i'm still trying to not mess up
so whenever i stumble, let me know.

i have a fashion show tonight (: (: (: (:

lolol mega excited. sure i'm just doing the Indigo Fashion Show thing, i have to wear traditional Indonesian clothes, but i'm wearing this pink boob tubey thing and heels, and make up and fake eyelashes and OMG IM SO EXCITED.

and josh will be there too. but celine is not. because she is a bitch.

will put up photos. if i look good in them. HAHA.

i cant wait. school is going so slow. omg please hurry up. i havent seen josh in 2 days ♥

by the way, it was the coldest morning ever this morning. i dunno whats up with the weather thing. its not winter yet, bro. slow down.

i have 2 mi gorengs for lunch (: what a happy day.
oh, and found 4 exciting new games for my phone. The Sims 3, The Sims 2 Pets, New York Nights 2 and Miami Nights 2. HAHAHA. and found a 2GB memory card for my phone. $19.50 from trademe, free shipping. so will get that one too.

what a wonderful day.

because i can.

2010-03-17T09:54:00.007+13:00

howzit

2010-03-17T09:38:00.003+13:00

josh has been sick ): mega worried about my baby. he was all fine etc on monday, our hangout day. me-celine-josh-erika-andrei. then he didnt go to school on tuesday, and again today. OHMG D: i hope you get better soon babyy.

anyway. things at home have been improving lately. i dunno why. mum was being mega nice to me lately. its kinda weird. maybe her new job isnt as stressful? anyway, if shes in this mood everyday then i dont mind living here next year. HA. but i dunno. living in auckland would be like some kind of lol adventure. especially surrounded by my mofos. hearts.

school has been okay too. told you my life is boring x] but its okay. hahah i love it. my money came in yesterday , $53 more . and i babysat and got $25. so yes, i am slowly improving. yesterday i went into a dairy and came out without a drink D: shock much. haha.

new songs.
Declined
written by Keyne and Celine
inspiration by Josh
(cover of The Climb - Miley Cyrus)

Can I Have One Dollar Fifty?
written by Keyne
inspiration by Celine
(cover of Can I Have This Dance - HSM 3)

happy days ahead

2010-03-12T14:22:00.003+13:00

in auckland next year, i shall be flatting with Josh, Celine and Erika. which shall be happy days, every single day. being Indians and Asian fobs. checking out ~~hotguys~~ secretly, so Josh doesnt know. walking around town until it's dark. speaking Engrish. annoying tourists.

Auckland, watch out. here we come.

happy days ahead.
1 saturday work + town afterwards. tomorrow.
2 hopefully erika's family lunch gathering thing.
3 SOCIAL. mahaheha. on the 25th.
4 dohee and sarah's birthday 26th.
5 miss saigon thingy 27th.
6 balloons? or party. D:

so it is allgoood. and the Ball Expo on wednesday was epic. got to ride in a limo and such. got a free movie ticket (: i dont usually win draw stuff. HA HA DE HA HA.

GET ME OUTTA HERE .

2010-03-11T18:29:00.003+13:00

PLEASE, JUST TAKE ME FAR, FAR AWAY.

i am so beyond sick of being told what to do.
i'm sick of hurrying around everywhere.
i'm sick of being told what i can and can't do.
i'm sick of leaving a place when im mega not ready to leave it yet. or not even close to wanting to go home, but i have to go home anyway.

i've decided to go to AUT next year. get away from this place. live by myself. i can handle it. probably wont be as good as living here, cuz i dont have to worry about food etc, but at least i'll have more freedom and do whatever i want. go wherever i want. go home when i want to.

how can i learn how to live if im never allowed to have a life.
she'll probably say no. be angry. there'll be another argument. BUT ITS FINE. it will be the last argument in a very long time. that's where im going, that's where my future is. she's been saying lately how if i dont like the way she runs this house, i should get out. you know what? maybe i will.

oh wait. i already am.

and another one, im especially mega sick of being growled at when there's no valid reason. when its not even my fault. its okay to advise me what to do with the money i earn. but its not okay to have a mega rage cuz i bought a freaking coke. but its okay, next year you can chill. i wont be here. i'll be up in AUT, living the way i want, doing what i want, eating what i want whenever, staying in town until i'm sick of it, without worrying about "shit, its already 6.05, if i dont go home now i'm gonna be fucked". no more of those.

dont try to blame josh into it. its not him. he just made me more confident, to speak out more, cuz usually i keep it in. you see this change as being his fault. its not, actually. any other guy/friend i hang out lots with, its all the same. nothing you do can make me think him over (: im already hooked. and yes, if i can, i will marry him.

im so over it.

on a lighter note.
parabola got effed today. she studied until like 3 for Calc test, and she got A.
i didnt even touch the book the whole year. and i also got A.
storming out of the class, then crying out in the quad.
OHGOD, how epic it was.
and that was only a practise test. i wonder what'll happen if it was an internal?
should be interesting.

hello, world (:

2010-03-10T10:13:00.005+13:00

here we go again .

that dumb phrase is probably gonna be stuck with me for the rest of my life. everything just keeps like semi repeating itself.. its cool but creepy too =| like nowadays, everything i say, i end it with 'here we go again'.

anyway. it's more of my twin's problem, but i feel like im stuck in it, because i had like pretty much the same problem last year. like 89% samelility. so its creepy. CUZ WE'RE TOO TWINS. even real twins wouldnt be this twinny.

i could turn you loose,
but baby, what's the use?
i come back to you like automatik.

that song has been stuck in my head for this week. YAY.

life is semi wonderful. everything is almost perfect. i'm feeling like i wanna go to AUT, to get outta here. but part of me don't really want to either. so it's confusing. if you ask me, right now, what i wanna do when i grow up, what job would be perfect for me, i'd still give you the same answer i would've given you 1O years ago, i dont know.

things are more complicated now because of Josh. what uni i go to, where i live, etc, i have to take him into account. and he does the same for me. he really wants to go to AUT ; i kinda wanna go there too. change of scenery, new people, would be more free, would cost more, etc. but isnt it all about experience? living budgetly might be a fun experience, instead of being rich and not having to think about tomorrow etc. it would teach us how to live independently. mum might not want me going to AUT. but if i really push it, she cant really make me stay. but i'm hoping to get a scholarship to go there, so there'll be no argument. but then i have to pay rent. AAAAAARRGGHHH. gimme back the good old days, when all i had to worry about was to quickly go home and do my colouring in homework.

another one of keyne's famous lists

2010-03-06T11:09:00.004+13:00

just dont give up, i'm working it out.
please don't give in; i won't let you down.
it messed me up, need a second to breathe.
just keep coming around.

things to look forward to.
1 andrei's birthday party, at 4 today? might not be able to come. NOOB U SHUDAV TOLD ME SOONER.
2 st john's social, 25 march. should be epic, since apparently they're going all out with the DJ and lights and etc. well, i was always gonna go anyway. I HOPE NICO CAN BE SNEAKED IN (:
3 start of term 1 holidays, 2 april. halleluiah, might not make it if this holiday didnt exist.
4 working full time in the hols. okay, not really looking forward to this, but it also means i'm gonna see Josh and Andrei and Brad everyday (: and earn $8oo by the end of it.
5 celine's birthday's sleepover party on 28 april. or somewhere near that date. CANT WAIT
6 me and twin's next Master Kong lunching (: the first one was epic.
7 teachers only day. me and josh has plans muahahahaha

maybe it's just a girl thing, but i actually love gossiping. like Classics periods are now unofficially gossip periods. we just bitch about everyone who are bitchable. its so fun. and now i have to buy Salt & Vinegar chips weekly, because it is our fuel food during classes.

josh= im sorry whenever i make you angry/sad/disappointed/etc. i hope things are still worth the not-so-good times. just please wait for me until i get outta here and we can do what we want, okay? iloveyou.

boys. READ.

2010-03-04T20:38:00.002+13:00

things girls wish guys knew.

1. We don’t like it when you fart. Especially if you do it in bed, or while we’re eating. Gross, not funny… and you’re wasting your time thinking that we’ll ever “learn to love them.”

2. Don’t make fun of us when we’re with our friends. Funny in small doses, annoying when you do it constantly. Keep doing it and you’ll pretty much guarantee yourself no “goodies” for awhile.
3. We know you’re hot, that’s one of the reasons we’re dating you. But that doesn’t mean you have to act like you know how hot you are by constantly walking around shirtless, flexing your muscles, etc. Confidence is hot – cockiness is not.

4. Even if you guys say you like us better dressed down with no makeup, wearing makeup and dressing up makes us feel pretty and boosts our confidence, so at least reward the hard work we do to make ourselves look good by telling us so.

5. Those t-shirts with the giant designs on the front (or, worse, the button downs with the giant designs on the back) are not cute. They are douchey. Please don’t wear them. (Also on this list: sweatbands, sweatpants with the elastic in the bottom, slip on sandals and over-sized plastic sunglasses with giant designers names on the side.)

6. Holidays and anniversaries might not seem like a big deal to you, but they are to us. Even if we say we don’t want something for Valentine’s Day, we want something. It isn’t the “thing” we care about; it is the fact that you are thinking about us. So think about us, dammit.

7. Thongs are really uncomfortable. You may think they are the end all be all of sexy, but they hurt.

8. Our friends are like a second family to us, so once you’re in with them, you’re set for life. Even though we know they’re loud and obnoxious sometimes, learn to love ‘em. We deal with your boys, so do the same for us.

9. There’s nothing we hate more than being called crazy or dramatic. No matter how much you think we overreact about our problems, they matter to us and we need you on our side to support us, rather than making us feel worse.

10. If it’s possible that there is anything worse than calling us crazy, it’s comparing us to other girls. I know it’s a double standard that we should be allowed to drool over any shirtless picture of Zac Efron we find in Us Weekly, while freaking out when you make a comment about any female celeb in a bikini. You might not realize it, but we automatically compare ourselves to every other girl on the planet, so saying another girl is hot makes us think we’re not good enough. Crazy, maybe, but we’re just being honest.

ha (:

2010-03-04T20:15:00.004+13:00

have a boys high social tonight.
everyones going except me, apparently
HAHA lol. ohwell. didnt really want to go anyway. and would'nt be allowed by mum.. and there'll be 3 girls schools there, and only 1 boy school. DUMB. so yeah, cbf. josh doesnt allow me to go anyway (:

its official. as of 11.10pm March 3 2O1O, the RosePink Sony Ericsson Z610i phone is MINE. hhaha josh finally got his debit visa card, PayPal account and i gave him $2OO for my phone. FINALLY. after like 6 years of wanting that phone... and when i have it, like about 2 weeks from now, i'm gonna look like a walking barbie lol. all my stuff are pink hahaha. happy days (:

i remember what you wore on the first day.
you came into my life, and i thought, "hey, this could be something"

i love that lyric. so cute (:
and at the moment, loving the song Hurt Feelings - Flight Of the Conchords its so FUNNY! check it out. thats like the only rap song i like, aside from White n' Nerdy, lol.

reasons why life is wonderful.
1 im getting the pink flip top phone i've always wanted.
2 josh is the best boyfriend in the world
3 having celine & erika in my life..
4 good songs coming out all the time
5 year 13 life is awesome.
6 for once in my life, im not broke (:
7 asians are fighting back HAHA .
8 owning bitches who think they're so ~~cool~~.
9 fail moments.
10 fail study sessions. like the one we had in uni last monday. HAHA.
11 free periods yo..
12 master kong's sio mays. gapping to town on frees.
13 fake dentist appointments. (i like to maintain a completely healthy set of teeth miss...)
14 gossiping in Classics. and eating.
15 calculus periods full of destroying each other's notebooks.
16 common room.
17 hacking people's accounts HA.

betty & me.
smimming sports 2o1o (:

heart.

2010-03-04T09:12:00.002+13:00

1OOth post !

2010-03-03T22:53:00.003+13:00

1OOth post. not surprised, really. been awhile since i've had this blog. been awhile since i post stuff on here daily (:

how's life, you ask? its GREAT. i love live at the moment. well, a few bitches and omg moments here and there, but life would be boring without those. what do we talk about in class then, if everything is just perfect and we cant bitch about anyone or anything?

btw, its me and josh's 6 months anniversary yesterday.
i love you more and more and more each day babyy. mwaaahhh x

@ YFC prom 2O1O.
mwaaahh x

so yeah. year 13 is pro as well. black skirts get away with everything (: i havent done one single calculus homework this year. stats is okay. just did internal today, it wasnt too bad. and free periods almost everyday.

what a wonderful world.

oi

2010-02-16T19:21:00.002+13:00

"i forgot who you are, so i shall call you Oi"

i dont like how i'm putting this up here but i don't know what else to do. i've talked to people about this and even though they've helped, im still all weird and miserable inside. and this is the best way to get it out of my chest, i think. even though this time its huge and probably unsolvable. well, i know it is unsolvable for the due date that you want.

i really thought you were okay with stuff but i guess i was just naive? or childish? noob? or maybe what im asking for is just too much. i know your not happy with the situation - im not happy even MORE - but i didnt know it was such a big problem. and funny how it always becomes a problem at night. and when it was actually happening, it was all okay and even good.

so now i feel stupid. i feel stupid, hurt, even a little bit of disrespected for some reason, confused, sad, hungry, unloved, unappreciated? is that even a word. its just that, from the conversation last night, i couldnt detect any sign of Love or Caringness or anything at all. it was all raargh, raargh raargh and i was all cry cry cry.

i hope this goes away. i cant take it. i can't try and make everyone happy with me. i'm trying, i really am.
i hope you know. i thought we were all good together?

keyne's wishlist

2010-02-06T21:16:00.007+13:00

yes, another one.

# 1
Sony-Ericsson RosePink Z61Oi

i have been wanting this phone ever since it came out, around a few years ago.
my cousin has the blue one and when i went back to indonesia in the beginning of last year, i borrowed it and loved it even more.
so now i'll be mega mega happy if i can have the pink one (:
its not even that expensive, about $15O new, so im hoping...

# 2
Polaroid i631

isnt it like the cutest pink camera ever (:
its got the stripes and everything. mwah !

# 3
these pink heels (:

i love them (: vair vair cute and mega sparkly.

wait, whats that you say? i like pink ?
nooooo, wtf, where did you get that from D:

keyne's wishlist

2010-02-06T21:16:00.000+13:00

school .

2010-02-01T22:04:00.002+13:00

so here we are, in the beginning of the new schooltime.
after a few months (since 2 december) we have been on a holiday. and now we're back at school (: back to organising your new books and naming them tidily and promising yourself you'll do your best this year. after all, age quod agis, right? back to getting excited over all your new stationerys and your tidy, neat new books and ruling everything tidily and writing dates and any other unimportant notes to yourself everywhere.

because, of course, we have promised ourselves that this year we'll listen to teachers at school, we'll do our homework everynight, we'll spend at least 2 hours EVERYNIGHT going over what we learnt at school. we will keep our school diarys tidy and we only write down things that are related to school, or school related things.

we wont be texting others secretly in our pockets, blazers, or inside the bags or pencil cases. we wont be secretly eating our morning tea/lunches and trying our hardest not to move our mouth, so the teacher wouldnt know.we wont look at the clock every 7 minutes wishing it was 3.1O, because we love school so much.

and i'm no psychic, but i think, just like all the previous years, all these enthusiasm will wear off after the first 4 weeks (:

school is not fun. its people you go to school with who creates all the fun. its your friends who make all those long hours bearable, survivable.

after all, all those kid toy products always tell us to have so much fun, you dont even realise your learning!

school 2O1O.
the last year.
lets make it memorable (:

212 days, 18 hours and 58 minutes
until JK 1 year anniv (:
xx.

2010-01-31T20:17:00.002+13:00

i love you so much sometimes all the love overspills out from my heart and it's everywhere and i dont know what to do with them, and it hurts but in a good way, and it hurts me everytime we fight but we still do it so often and we always make up afterwards and the relationship grows stronger and i love you so much and xoxoxo

moho baby jellyfishy x3

2010-01-30T19:38:00.002+13:00

i'm not missing you
stacie orrico

i dont know how a sentence so sweet can be the start off of a mega argument

i dont think i can trust myself to say what i feel now

im sorry.

joshy woshy laba laba jellyfishy

2010-01-27T22:17:00.002+13:00

yes, i love you.

i love you more than whatever that long sentence you just said, donghae holding a mango deepsring with a collection of all the mascaras in the world, watching spongebob squarepants, with a wardrobeful of high heels my size, and dancing with taylor lautner shirtless and also zac efron, dancing to tae yang's music video WEDDING DRESS live.

yes, i choose you.

i choose you because you've always been there for me.
i was wasting my time for some stupid boy, but you still waited for me.
you helped me to get closer to the boy, when all you wanted was tell me im wasting my time with him, because now i know he's nowhere near the guy you are.
i choose you because you love me for who i am. you love me even when i dont have eyeliner on.
you love me even though you know all the weird shit going on with me and my life.
i choose you because you're mega patient with me,
and you know me so well. you know what to do with me and you know best how to make me smile.
i choose you because you choose me.

i really truly love you with my whole heart. and im not trying to be lovey dovey or cheesy, this is the mega truth. sometimes my heart just swells and spills over because there's too much love to contain. and it all just comes spilling out everywhere, and still there are more to come.

my chest is feeling funny right this moment too, writing this and talking to you (:

i love you, you laba moho jellyfish noob mofo, with you buying KFC at farmers and putting GPS on you so i know you went to my BESTFRIEND's house and you listening to yourself all the time.

I LOVE YOU.

the last post about him, i swear.

2010-01-27T21:46:00.002+13:00

its alright ; its okay.
im so much better without you.

yes i havent blogged in awhile.

lol, scratch that. i havent blogged in centuries. been a bit busy i guess. the holidays have been okay... but the real reason is, lately, my life has been semi wonderful and i dont get my share of the teenage life drama anymore - grr. ): lol as much as i love my life at the moment, i still miss those omg-did-you-know-what-that-bitch-just-did moments. some goodtimes.

but i just have something i have to get off my chest. this mega revelation i got when washing the dishes (i swear).

by the way, updated EFTPOS balance = $8.77
haha. big slide from the previous 280.

anyway, back to the story.

once upon a time, some lifetime ago, i went to a certain place with some boy. now it was just the two of us, walking around the place and bla de bla. then after we had lunch we both had spare change and decided to go to the wishing well thingy, as well as donating some coins for cancer. so we went around the place to look for the well and found it.

we both dropped the coins and as i watched my coin swirl around and around for ages, i read the label on the well. 'use your coins on the wishing well and your wish will come true!' or some cheesy shit like that. so i wished for my wish quickly before my coin drops down on the bottom of the swirly thing. i sneaked a look at the some boy and saw, quite relievedly, that his face was all serious as well. so he didnt think this was stupid. it was, after all, his idea. anyway, not sure what he was thinking, i continued on on my wish, the some boy still in my mind (like he always used to be).

i know im not supposed to share wishes, cuz then it'll jinx it and ruin the point. but since this was a lifetime ago and the wish had come true, i dont see no harm in sharing it.

i actually still remember my exact wish. it wasnt 'please let me become his girlfriend', like the most obvious wish ever, the one all my friends can easily guess. it was actually more on the line of 'i honestly think i've done quite a lot for me and him. if he wants me in his life, he's a big boy, he can do it himself. i wish that my friendship with him goes to whichever way is best, and anything that happen with us, it would be something that would be best for me, because i've done enough, and i kinda deserve things to be the way that would be good for me.'

then i closed my eyes and waited for the coin to drop.

a few months after that event, everything went weird. mega unexpected things happened, and i got hurt. alot. more than i've ever gotted, actually, especially from some stupid boy. after awhile things calmed down, and i randomly remembered the wishing well incident. and i blamed it. stupid freaking thing. it didnt fucking work. it must've been opposite day since everything went opposite as what i wished for. everything sucked.

then today, many many months after.
everyone's moved on and the dramas are about different things.
i am mega over the some boy and mega in love with the right boy, and my love life has never been better.
as i washed the dishes i started thinking about how 'be careful what you wished for, because it might come true.' and we dont know the consequences that our wishes can bring. or the bad sides of it. cuz there are equal bad and good things in this life.

and i realised that the wishing well thing worked. i got what was best for me. i worked so hard for things, and this is my reward. it may not seem like a reward some months ago, but now i mega see how my wish came true. i am so much better without him. he's now doing different things, hanging with different people, and at the moment, i cant see how our lives can be the same at all. it was never a good plan to include him in my future. even if it worked before, it would've stopped working right around now.

so it was a good thing that it never started. i got hurt alot, yes, but i would've got hurt alot more now if it had started, and now ended. it was so much better that i lost everything, and found a new, better everything in a different boy. sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can come together. its such a mofo true saying. you will always think something is 'best', until you find a better one.

so i got what i wished for. the big heartbreak was the universal way of telling me that im wasting my time on this some boy. the universe and all destinity were telling me that the boy i wanted all along was always there on my side. always. and i never really noticed it, because i was busy wasting my time on some boy.

some love life, huh?

so, in conclusion, it was good while it lasted, whatever it was that me and some boy had.

the end.

yahhh

2009-12-28T22:57:00.003+13:00

in auckland at the moment.
havent been blogging in quite awhile. been quite busy. lol.
got accepted at the miss saigon production i auditioned for !! miraculous. since i practically embarassed myself at the stupid audition.
celine got in too. hope twin did aswell (: then it'll be fun happy days rehearsing. YAY.

wedding countdown = 2 days

bought 2 new dresses. one from cotton on, some onsale $1O leopard pink prints megamini dress. wore that for waihi day. bought new dress too from silver surfers, some cute ruffly short white colourful ball dress for $1O9.9O. mega broke much, i know. at least josh helped, but i'll pay him back full oneday (: thanks bby.

been in auckland since 27 morning. went around Queen St today. didnt get anything.. oh but got some new denim shorts from dotti yest (: $2O onsale bitches. and got new Venus Breeze razors with built in gel bars. lol. gonna have fun in the shower. then tomorrow, coromandel.. beachtime. should be fun (: then back home, cuz there is no way i am missing out on the wedding.

bytheway, auckland city should be called asian city nowadays. just saying. LOL.

at the moment addicted to those asian drinks that are like iced sweet tea in the bottle. have had around 7 of those in the last 3 days. HAHA. preservatives much. ohwell. better than coke, yea thats right josh.

2009-12-16T10:05:00.002+13:00

and when you start to miss me,
remember, you let me go .

http://msrychbytch.topfriends.com

VISIT because i need pageviews so that i can win josh's ridiculous "whose networth is bigger on facebook" game- -

anyway, to the important stuff now,
THE WANTED VS SASSOON YOUCURL curler now all mine miney mine
MUAHAHAHAHA.
tried to curl yesterday.. ~~failed~~. tried again, it looked abit better. i must say, whoever invented the saying 'practise makes perfect' was really onto something.
have to get curls perfected before wedding (: also master the art of putting glittery fake eyelashes on.- -

phew. busy much.

x

hair colourer

2009-12-14T13:31:00.005+13:00

the day i thought i'd never get through,
i got over you .

bought a Garnier Creme Hair Colourant - almond-dark blonde.
lol.
was gonna colour the whole hair but then now deciding on streaks.. thinking i should 'just do it' instead of panicking and drama queening and asking a million questions about it.
i mean, sure its permanent, but if it does end up looking shit, then i can just buy a dark brown colourer and BOOM, my hair goes back to normal.

tee hee.

and the VS Sassoon YouCurl^TM curler/straightener will soon be mine !! HAHAHAHHA. thanks to christmas, josh and celine. CANT WAIT. will use it for the wedding. so exciteeeed.

PLANS updated.
tomorrow - towning with my bitch. possibly wearing heels.
sometime this week - bitch coming over. do the streaks then ?
friday night - meet up with josh after his work in town. watch a late movie? take bus home. will happen if i get permission.
26 dec - waihi. with josh's family.
3O dec - WEDDING . omggggg
24 jan - another wedding. HEEEEE

EFTPOS balance count = $28O . why god, why.

some random stuff i've learnt/read/realised lately.
dont take stuff personally. vain bitches.
1 boys use love to get sex ; girls use sex to get love.
2 heartbroken boys turn into mansluts.
3 if money is the basis of your relationship, then the person with the money is the only one who has a say.
4 if you know a boy who only wants sex, dont go out with him. dont think that you can change his mind and make him love you in the process. if his plan was to get sex in the first place, then the relationship is over once you give it to him.
5 girls who swear alot are thought of as sluts. (whoops)
6 always figure out who your real friends are. life is too short to have fake ass bitches as friends.

TWIN. i miss you you mofo. bring me back some filo/HKnese souveniers. lol.
JOSH. ilyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy xx
CELINE. hahahahah BITCH. we'll have mega funs this summer.
GABY. ngapain coba ke china. kesini aj lebih bagus. dodol. missyouuu x

according to me,
your stupid, your useless
you cant do anything right.

internet at last

2009-12-09T17:03:00.005+13:00

at last, internet is now a part of my life again. sure its not the pro wireless/broadband whatever, but this time, this shitty dial up connection is just temporary.

HA HA.

approximately 3 weeks - 21 days - 5O4 hours - 3O24O minutes until josh's aunty's wedding !
still deciding what to wear etcetera. but that day is gonna be awesome, motherfuckers.

i've missed blogging ! i used to blog like 3 times a day. so i guess there's a million things i havent blogged about that are bloggable. oh well.

my life is okay, i guess. Year 13-ing next year. hoping to get a freaking scholarship. nerding time, full on, serious this time. trying to NOT go to that freaking camp. but kinda want to. have many mega plans for summer . bikini beaching with celine and josh and nico ! lol. should be FUN. yuusssss.

and hopefully my NCEA results get lost in the mail, because i dont, i repeat i DO NOT wanna know the results. no thankyou. im fine right now. i know i've passed NCEA L2, but still, no need to see details, ha-ha.

got my EFTPOS some weeks ago. big mistake, really. on the next few hours after i got it from the bank, i spent like $12O. and now its down to like $350, and pre-EFTPOS the balance was $572.99. HAHAHAHAA. whose brill idea was it anyway to get me a magic card to carry around.

another week of home aloneness. shit, imma miss that.

to twin getting on her plane to overseas in the morning. FUCK YOU BITCH. why can u get outta here and i cant. anyway, have fun. bring lots of SOUVENIERS for me mofo. live ones (; hahaahahahha i'll miss you slut.

GABBY - thanks for the text. cant reply, no credit T.T
i miss you too. SEE YOU SOON. come here !!! x3

and of course, a keyne blog post isnt a keyne post without a list. teehee. i've missed doing these.

TO DOOOOO .
1 watch all videos in the youtube channel NigaHiga and CommunityChannel.
2 get a cute pushup bikini.
3 find my rainbow billabong board shorts .
4 go beaching with bitches.
5 find out what to wear on wedding.
6 help josh grow. (teehee).
7 earn back all the money i've spent, and the money i might spend next year- -
8 stop having ~~macaroni cheese~~ for lunch. many many cholesterol, josh said.
9 stop wasting $ at dairies.
1O stop swearing. help celine with this too.
11 put money IN the EFTPOS, for a change.- -
12 sleepover with bitches.
13 watch all the movies i want.
14 get a pro-ish hair straightener.
15 put low+highlights in my hair.
16 change the colour of my room (BOR-ING)

much ILYs .
xx

my life

2009-11-17T11:05:00.004+13:00

.skoffing. snacking on choc drops. drinking apple soda. going to the warehouse and spending a year in the shoe section. being on the phone with people. pretending to be studying for exams. watching TV secretly. pretending to be practising piano. pretending i'm all good for bio exam. drama drama drama. jealousy. insecureness ? scaredness. etcetera.

i dont think doing pilate workouts can help if i'm eating a whole packet of chicken skof and dark choc drops while working out. ha ha haaaa .

sometimes maybe its better not to care. then you wouldnt be so vulnerable and you wont get hurt because you dont care. maybe there is such a thing called 'caring too much'. especially if the people you care about dont care back.

like YOU. fuck, i dont even know you. cant believe how you were such a big part of my life, but now you act like you dont know me. like im just another random girl on your bebo friends list. stuff you. i dont wanna wish anything bad on you, but what goes around does comes back around. you'll get what i mean someday.

lol .

2009-11-15T13:41:00.002+13:00

dont worry - not being vain at all, just wanna finally put up a new photo for the 'meet the mofo' section, heh heh heh.

x

shit

2009-11-13T17:47:00.002+13:00

took out a ruler and measured the heels.

1O.5 cm - motherfucker
174 + 1O.5 = 185 cm ?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!!!
faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhkkkkkk - -

keyne and heels.

2009-11-13T11:15:00.002+13:00

i bought new heels .

now i dont know exactly why i bought it. all i know is that the first time i saw it, i fell deeply in love with it but i still know that keyne + heels = nononoimpossibilitiness. so i put them back down with a heavy heart and looked away.

so the next time i went to the shop i went straight to where i found the heels and voila - they're still there. price reduced aswell. $49.99 to $19.98 before, and it was now $14.98 .

hmmmm. so i made a little deal with myself. next time i go here and the heels are still there then its destiny.

so the third time i went with the whole group - Josh, Celine, Erika. dragged them all to the shoes section ("oh no ! again ?!" josh grumbled.) found it rightaway. even found the exact same ones in Erika's size. ohmylord. sign much ?

but still decided not to get it. the heel wasnt even that high, only about 7/8 probs. but still. i do not need another 8cm on top of my annoying 174cm, thankyou very much. so i walked away from them for the third time.

yesterday Josh came over. planned to be studying but failed, like always. anyway we went there again and looked for the heels again.. at first we couldnt find them in the normal place, so i was half disappointed and half glad. it means its just NOT meant to be ! but then my mofo found them. he even found one thats still in the original box, with the replacement heels etc. so i tried them on, for the 45943 millionth time.

to buy or not to buy, that is was the question.

decided to buy. i will be regretting not buying the heels, josh said. so we went to the cashier, and even at the cashier i was still pondering the option. but then the cashier lady person grabbed the heels and said "$15, thanks" so i guess i had no other choice.

the heels were mine.

and now i have 4 pairs of heels. two of them were for the st john ball and sacred heart ball, so i guess they were put to at least some use. the other one is this mofo high 12cm sandals wood type thing. like Erika's one. got it in wellington, $15 also. never worn it, ever. and now i have another one.. wonder what i'm gonna do with these 4. wonder what mum'll say. she'll probably be angry at me for buying shoes that i wont even wear anyway. ha ha haa .

ohwell. i guess at partys/random lol towndays/at home/towning with joseph i can then wear the heels (:

lol.

a wonderful story

2009-11-10T11:49:00.004+13:00

this story was composed by well known authors Keyne and Celine.

this story was composed on the back of Keyne's schooldiary 2OO9, during one maths period.

chapter one .

celine's boyfriend =. . . but he's married to keyne.
keyne divorced him for celine. . .
and celine broke up with him and married MJ.

chapter two .
but celine still had him as her secret boyfriend . .
until keyne came back and asked for their reunition. so they can be together forever and they promised each other never to cheat on each other and so that happened until they died. they had 4 children.

chapter three .
but he was faking his death and after he buried keyne he went to celine's house and they had sex for 237491 times to make up for all the lost time.
well thats what HE thought but actually it was a blow up doll which he had mistaken to be the real celine and so celine only had it EVER with MJ and they had 3 kids called Blanket, Paris and Michael Junior.

chapter four .
but celine mispelled the names on their birth certificates wrong = Blowjob, Penis and MoFo Junior and keyne only ever had sex with josh

the end .

dont worry, we are not sluts.
just another inside joke (:
♥celine

j o s h

2009-11-08T21:43:00.002+13:00

i keep thinking of how much i love talking to you.
how good you look when you smile..
how much i love your laugh.
i daydream about you on and off,
replaying pieces of our conversations,
laughing at funny things that you said or did.
i've memorised your face & the way that you look at me..
i catch myself smiling again at what i imagine.
i wonder what will happen the next time we are together
and even though neither of us know what the future holds,
i know one thing for sure;
you're the best thing that ever happened to me
&& i love you .

x x o x

luv

2009-11-06T11:34:00.003+13:00

hahahaaa.loving that barcode font thing bitches. its mega cute.

today. going home with twin + bitch. ice cream day , girls day out. no mofos. HA HA AHHAHA.
shit this short post has so mant labels o_O

i love
tight jeans, cute heels, onsale shoes, designer bags, Gucci handbags, Guess handbags
shopping, having $$$, movies, 3D movies, sunnies
makeup, brand makeup, makeup shopping, eyeliners
J, C, E, S, C, Y, K, R, A
being allowed out, making lists, making letters
making cards, lollipops, loling at inside jokes
bitchy bitches being bitchy, hot boys, lol boys
blogging, editing blog templates, receiving comments, receiving texts
calling, going to timezone, ice skating, towning, chartwelling
fish and chips, Pasta Bella's macaroni, Deep Spring's Orange + Mango
noodle master's #1 noodle, the chicken breast from pronto pasta

romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

2009-11-06T09:07:00.003+13:00

my romeo is a mofo

yesterday. i wanted to go straight home cuz i was hungry. and i just knew that i wanted noodles. so i had to gap home as fast as possible and make some and finish it before the other members of my family came home. if they catch me eating noodles then i'll be dead.

so there i was, walking home and on the phone with mofo. mofo said he was at the warehouse with Jae. so i told him not to leave warehouse before i get home, because i looked particularly shitty yesterday. mofo said OK, saying he'll most likely take the bus right in front of WH anyway. so i wasnt worried.

so i got home and immediately started making the noodles. then mofo called again, saying he'll be walking past my house because he missed the bus. since i'll be inside and he cant see me anyway, i was just like okay, i gotta finish my noodles now. bye.

then suddenly in the middle of eating noodles, i heard steps coming closer. SOMEONE WAS ON MY DECK ! i froze, saw the blue/grey school uniform through the closed blinds and thought i was dead. my brother came home even though he was supposed to be at AfterSchool Care ! i glanced down at my noodles and wondered how i can hide it/get rid of the noodly smell. i only had a couple of seconds before my brother opens the door, catching me with a bowl of noodles in front of me.

but something strange happened. instead of stopping in front of the door and opening it, the shadowy figure kept on walking to where i was sitting. next to the open window. hardly daring to look up, my heart beating faster and faster.. in the end i looked up cuz i was already busted anyway. and i saw... the mofo.

WTF ! he was grinning mofoly. i said 'wtf, i told you not to come, i thought you were just gonna walk past my house !' and mofo said 'i know, i was walking past it, then i couldnt help it, i had to see you ! cuz i know you're inside'. then he raped* me through the open window. even though i tried to hide my shitty face the whole time.

so that is that story of my unexpected encounter with the mofo. im not seeing mofo today. well, i was only gonna see him on monday then saturday this week, but for some reason i've seen him monday/tuesday/wednesday/thursday. hes a sneaky mofo, that one. and im seeing him again tomorrow, for the Thai Festival at 7.

i ♥ my mofo.

* rape = kiss
'rape' just sounds more dramaey [x

just a bit of stuff here and there

2009-11-05T22:13:00.004+13:00

1 about the post list before this -
i dont hate my mum. maybe there were times where i was so pissed that i felt like it, but its normal and everyone has this feeling for everyone sometimes. i guess we'rea all just being stressed right now, with the NCEA and moving house and whatnot. dont judge me on that list and think that im some ungrateful mofo to my mum or something.

2 to bitches being mofos to my twin.
your not exactly better than us, you know. in fact, your already not, considering the CHILDISHNESS showing when you made that stupid note thing. and i have to agree with the whole makeup thing. makeup is normal, believe it or not. girls put on make up. if you see boys putting on stuff, then you can bitch about it. if you think putting on makeup is an act of sluttiness, then im sorry that you're still in the playing-with-Barbie-dolls stage. you will reach the sophisticated teenage's stage, maybe, someday. and just because we put makeup on at the end of a school day.. SO WHAT ?! we dont need makeup while we're at school. we dont feel the need to impress the GIRLS at school. so why waste makeup during school? and why judge us for putting on makeup 'for the boys' ? you can do it yourself too, and we wouldnt care. why else do we buy makeup?

3 josh.
is a mofo .

4 define a slut.
a slut is someone who sleeps with alot of people. someone who has meaningless sex often. or someone who seduces boys just for the joy of it. and feeling superior because she's managed to make endless boys fall for her seduceness. a slut is someone who already has 'someone special' in their lives, but they need more. many more. so here goes the endless flirting and the 'harmless' chats with other boys.

a slut, then, is not someone who dances with boys at a party.
its a party. there's loud dancy music. there's boys.
wtf are you supposed to do ? sit in a line and have a little sing-a-long ?
dont confuse hate with jealousy, bitch.

5 new online crush !
ryan higa . who makes the lolest youtube videos ever. ohmg, ha ha ha.

6 piano .
trying to re-learn A Comme Amour from the Richard Clayderman's book thing. learnt it before but gave up halfway when i saw the twiddly fingery bit in the middle. trying to finish it now. and also try to learn the other one, A Letre a Mere or whatever its called.

7 thaishow plan thing for saturday night.
its still happening, just plan slightly changed. got a sudden dentist appointment on the day so bitches cant come over. they can still come to walk with me there around 5 ish.. but my wonderful family is also coming (: sorry josh. KILLED YOUR HENTAI PLANS DIDNT IT ?! the rapist mofo was planning to 'get lost' with me among the millions of gardens there. HA HA.

8 josh.
ily bbyy. i promise mum will know soon . . hopefully before saturday. which is in like, 2 days.
oh dear .

twin. i hope you enjoy this post (:
loveyou mofo .

hmph .

2009-11-05T08:56:00.004+13:00

1 if you dont want me to compare you to other 'cooler' mums, then dont compare me to other 'better' daughters who get E for every goddam assessment, or those who tidy up their room twice a day, or those daughters who make fabulous dinners and ~~love~~ doing house chores.
2 dont be angry when i dont tell you stuff. i dont tell you anything and yet you still manage to blame problems on friends/cellphones/boys when you dont even know anything. if i do start telling you stuff, wouldnt it just get worse? all it would do is make your blames more specified, but still wrong all the same.
3 just because other people's kids go to uni sooner doesnt mean they're gonna be freaking millionaires in their future. it also doesnt mean im gonna fail school and be a homeless person living on coins on the street either.
4 i really dont like it when i ask 'why' and you say 'because i say so'. its okay for you to say no, but i think i have the right to know WHY NOT. if you tell me a reasonable reason why i cant do stuff, then i'll accept it. saying 'because i dont want you to' doesnt exactly answer my question.
5 JUST BECAUSE I FUCK UP ONCE AND MISPLACE THE FUCKING CAMERA CHARGER DOESNT MEAN THAT ITS BOYS' FAULT. just because we both forget to send the charger overseas doesnt make it MY FAULT ENTIRELY and it doesnt mean that im useless and it doesnt mean that i am not capable of handling a relationship yet. actually i dont even see any relativity between the 2 things. they're freaking different shits entirely.
6 believe it or not, i am not the only teenager in this world who TEXT. if you think im bad, you should see the people who get 3 Text2OOO plans a month.
7 sneaking out will probably be necessary in the future if you dont let me do anything.
8 meeting up with guys at the WAREHOUSE is mega harmless. i mean, wtf can you do at the warehouse anyway? its like the publicest place ever with people everywhere.
9 if you dont like me bringing people home all the time, then start considering letting me go to their place. i'll be much happier too.
1O dont be confused as to why i dont play with my siblings anymore. im so nearly 17 and my 'playing' days with them are so over. and anyway they spend their time chasing each other and being stupid anyway. and im not joining that shit.
11 'family time' are stupid. all we end up doing is piss each other off. and as if we dont get enough of each other already. i've lived with you guys for my whole freaking life.

hearts to twin .

2009-11-05T08:52:00.000+13:00

to my twin.
this is for you, mofo (:
i love you .

that funny word

2009-11-03T21:20:00.006+13:00

Love (n.)
is when you find someone you can really be yourself with. someone that you can share anything with like a bestfriend. love is when you cant even imagine what your life would be like ~~without him~~. its when words dont even come close to how you really feel. and even though it may not make sense to some people, you simply just know you're meant to be together.

iloveyou .

mehhh

2009-11-03T20:43:00.005+13:00

before i forget again, lol .

Happy Birthday to Rayy
O1.11.O9
(: missyou bro .

that means my birthday is also near, HA HA. 25 more days ? shit i shall be old o_O . oh no no noo.

anyway. was planning to not meet up with josh afterschool today, but megafailed. the stupid mofo was apparently at the Whaare-Haus-Ay with jae and he MADE me come. yes, thats right, made. anyway, so after a bit of eyelinering i gapped to the WH and just ate some pro corn fritter and bla bla, stayed only for awhile then go back home cuz i was scared of being busted by mum. tee hee .

that Thai Show thing on saturday night better happen. i better be allowed. mum better take my news well. i better pass KPL computing shit. and NCEA Level 2, for that matter. i better get a new dress/shoes for the wedding. hmph.

it seems like i can finally rest my head on something real,
i like the way that feels
oh, it's as if you know me better than i ever knew myself
i love how you can tell all the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
how do you know everything im about to say ?
am i that obvious ?
and is it written on my face ?
i hope it never goes away .
pieces of me ashlee simpson

twomonths

2009-11-02T12:42:00.007+13:00

i want to find a boy
who doesnt care that i'm unbelievably clumsy
i dont think before i speak
i have a crazy personality
who would put up with all my long, ununderstandable stories
and listen patiently to them, smiling
a boy who knows all my faults
and he wouldnt want me any other way.
well, i found him (:

. . . and the wall came tumble-ing down .

2009-11-02T12:35:00.000+13:00

the poor wall died. it never stood a chance, lol.

he came on friday afterschool . me & twiin were just walking around, and had just come out of that epic incident with the sushi guy. we were mega loling and giggling when we saw him get off the bus and crossed the street to us. at first i kinda ignored him and we were all cold to him and stuff, but after awhile it all died away anyway (: . got some ice cream, then started to walk back to my place when mum showed up unexpectedly. got us all a ride back to my house, where twin had to catch a bus home, but he stayed.

we stayed outside on the deck thing, talking about things. it was pretty short but intense, and in the end it all just kinda fell into place, and we were both allgood. then he came again on the saturday and we were closer than ever (: it was pretty cool actually .

arguments / fights either break / strengthen the friendships / relationships . im really happy that it made us stronger and closer instead of just breaking apart into pieces. its twomonths now. iloveyoubabyy (:

mum's right about the whole NCEA shit though . its like actually 14 fucking days away from the maths NCEA level 2 exam. so i have to be mega studying right now. and see him / hang out with bitches afterschool less. also on weekends. even though we're already planning a few more things, ha ha ha.

mega plans .
1 thai festival thing on 7 november at the ham gardens. this saturday. josh and maybe twin coming over to mine on saturday, then we walk to the gardens together.
2 november indonesian party. so many indonesian women in hamilton have their birthday on november, so this has kinda been like a ritual thing.
3 after all these NCEA shit is done, i'll be extra outgoing. watchout, bitches (;

we only got 864OO seconds in a day
to turn it all around or to throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dyin'
kris allen

we've hit a wall .

2009-10-30T09:11:00.004+13:00

maybe you wont like me for posting the 'problem' here, in my blog, but i dont know how else i can get all these shit out from my chest.

it still hurts. even now, the morning after, some1O long hours later.and i still dont understand what happened. i thought we were fine ? i thought we were both happy with the way things are. we WERE all good just the day before. even a couple hours before the argument thing. .. . . . . ?

love and lust . its scary to be thinking which one's more dominant. which one is stronger. im even freaked out to be confused with the two words. i never thought i had to come to this. but now i am. I THOUGHT WE WERE FINE. then in one stupid sentence i find out that while yes, i am fine, your apparently not.

i dont know what you hoped to get out of that argument. if there were any form of a threat type thing in there, its not gonna work. i've given you everything i can give you. if your not happy with it, then, thats your problem. no form of threat/anything/whatever can change it. not ready means not ready. the only time the 'not ready' will change is when i BECOME ready. before that its not gonna change at all.

i have a choice and so do you. i choose not to do some stuff. and you can choose what to do with that.
you can wait with me, or you can go find someone else who can give you what you want, right now.
im sorry. i really thought we were happy and okay with the way things are.
im sorry if your hurt too. not being a drama queen, but i think in this case im getting hurt way more than you . i was the one crying into my pillow all night, the one who couldnt sleep properly cuz my nose was unbreathable. and you STILL had to ask that last question .

i dont know what to think .

men vs. women

2009-10-28T13:25:00.001+13:00

When a woman says:
"This place is a mess!
C'mon, you and I need to clean,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear
if we don't do laundry right now!"

a man hears:
"blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW !"

6O things you should never say to a naked man

2009-10-28T12:39:00.002+13:00

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?

2009-10-28T10:14:00.002+13:00

please, please google 'family guy season 5 episode 1O = 'peter's two dads'' and omgg, i looked this up yesterday at josh's house (fast internet, teeheeheehee) and i loled for a year.

"you are mmhhh hhmm.. going on mmhh hhmm..."

hahahahah shit son. love love family guy (:

anyway. yesterday i gapped to josh's house. waited for the Silverdale Direct bus that came right on time, but LEFT ME THERE, the whole bus full of st johns loling at me. ESPECIALLY NICO, grrr. stupid impatient bus driver ; he could've waited for like 3 more seconds and i would've gotten on. AARGGHH. but anyway, the Silverdale #2 bus came not long after and me, twin, akino + anna and blabla went on it. but since Josh was heavily loling at me in the car, me and twiin decided to have our revenge (: and told him the bus wasnt there yet. he fully fell for it, the noob.

so i imagined he was really surprised when he saw the Silverdale #2 bus pull up at the transport centre, even though we were still on the phone, me telling him "maybe i should start walking, or crawling ? or maybe i cant go after all. omgg, where is this fucking bus" etc etc. HA HA HA AH AHAA. and i got to hit Nico for dissing me. so HA HA.

planning another 'escape'ish today. right after the bell goes me and twin (probably) shall quickly walk to the warehouse, where we'll probably meet Josh along the way. then Josh will try to find a stryofoam / ploystirene stuff there, and go to my house and do his Bottle Modelling stuff.

oh and congratulations to him. Josh earned the name of josh the explorer on 271OO9.
good boy. (:

the great lengthy detail about my weekend

2009-10-27T11:20:00.000+13:00

now the party don't start till i walk in

town escape on friday went amazingly well. except for the fact that mum came home an hour early and caught me and twin waiting for the town bus outside my house. that was LOL. but i didnt do anything cuz if i tried to justify myself by explaining to her in great lengths why i was at the bustop, it'll be obvious i was there for the wrong reasons. so i just pretended like it was the normalest thing in the world, to be waiting for the town bus with my twin after school. i was tempted to look and wave at my mum, but i didnt.

got to town, townbus was pretty filled with school kids. some of the asians there were dayym*. got to town, and apparently Josh and Ricardo were hanging at the Whare-Haus-Ay. cracked me and twin up, even though Josh didnt get the joke. NOOB. anyway, went to korean hair place, where Nico was getting his haircut and the salon owner had this cute as white dog named Coco, probably. it was SO cute. Josh claimed i was 'teasing' it, because i kept coming to it as if i was gonna pat it, but backed away out of scaredness in the last minute. ha ha, poor dog.

btw, just wanna say this. so funny, my ~~balldate~~ fully didnt say/do anything when he saw me there, haha, it was as if he didnt even know me, LOL. that also cracked me up.

anyway. suddenly a huge group of st john guys came towards us, with jae at the front with a mega angry face. then they started quarelling about some shit i still dont understand to this day. i got scared and gapped inside to play with the dog again. after that we went to get something to eat, then just walked around until we came back to the salon to get Josh's hair done. but since it was 5.3O already me and twin had to go. so we left, and bla bla.

stayed home on saturday and sunday. played quite alot of PS2 games, lol. then on monday i went out again.

planned to watch the Final destination 3D with josh at chartwell. so he came to my house earlier to play some PS2 stuff first, then we went to chartwell, mum dropping us off. then when we went inside, we saw Jae and Lai and Nico LOL. sat with them. the movie was pretty good, and the 3D made it kinda better, even though the glasses pissed me off sometimes.

then after that Josh got macaroni and i went to get a Frozen Fanta from McD. the guy who served me there was like familiar, but i wasnt sure and i didnt say anything. so we ate our lunch, and we started to leave to somewhere when we saw Brent. i was like hmm, Brent. wtf..? then the revelation started revealing. (hahahahah wtf)

J= hey, what you doing here
B= oh, im just on my break. hey, kiki (waving to me)
K= oh, hi. (i still didnt get it)
so then the guys blablablaed for awhile. then i started to realise something.
K= wait, your on your break? what, you work in McDonald's ?
b= yep.
k= wait wait, were you the guy that ...
b= (loling and pointing at my fanta) i served you that fanta !
k= ooohhhhhhh .
j= omg, what a noob.
k= shut up. i wasnt sure! i thought it was someone i know...
then we left, with Brent doing some sort of a funny little wave that cracked me up.
haha ha ha.

then we walked around, and i bought a humongolous Cookies and Cream Mega Shake from Wendy's. it was actually an impulse buy coz i usually dont buy drinks that huge. ended up not finishing it anyway, even though Josh helped me drink it. so we went to bustop where we took the long way back home, circling around the base, dinsdale and etc LOL. got home and Josh did that thing mum asked him, one of our pipes fucked up or something. then we were just talking when i noticed a group of asian guys walking past my house. (of course)

then one of them looked familiar from the back. ok, it wasnt actually the back, more like his bright yellow glowing jacket. i was like, "is that DARWIN ?" and josh jumped up on the deck to see. then he yelled 'DAAARRWEEEN!" and dohee turned around. lol.

then i went with Josh to wait at his bustop where i did the most OWNAGE thing ever. HA HA. Josh might kill me if i describe the incident here, so just ask me if you wanna know (;

ily . x

SIGHH.

2009-10-23T12:28:00.003+13:00

finally ! my new template is done (ish) and im mega happy (ish) with how it looks.

have been working on it for the last 4 ITE class periods, and i am quite satisfied (ish) with it. sorry, i know im not much of a patient person and i get bored with my layout once a week, so everyone has to put up with this shit. (:

and im kinda not happy coz the sidebar things can only go up to 175px. and i cant change it coz the lines have to connect with the image thing above. GRRRR.

ohwell. planning another 'town escape' after school today.

when the bell rings - me + twin quickly gap to lockers and back to my house. i shall put a note on the door and hide the housekey somewhere so my beluved siblings can find it. and after that me and twin shall wait for the nearby Silverdale #2 bus and gap to town, where i shall watch with much amusement as Josh, Conor and Nico get their hair cut in that korean place.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA .

these are a few of my favourite things

2009-10-20T13:37:00.003+13:00

feeling lah di dah kinda depressed ish lately so im making a list of things that make me happy.

(yay, another list, like i havent got enough of those).
they shall be random.

things that make keyne happeeeee
one a unit test cancelled for the day for some reason.
two a huge as big project unit all done and finished and forgotten.
three ice creaming with bitches after school. or any other time, really.
four getting a rare glimpse of mega DAYYYM* hotness in the streets.
five singing along to good songs in the radio
six lol as lyrics to good songs.
seven pretending to be doing work at school.
eight getting caught doing something bad at school and coming up with the randomest excuses ever.
nine dancing and singing loudly and hypertically
ten going to the movies
eleven frozen coke and frozen fanta
twelve eating out
thirteen having long as lol sessions that are unstoppable
fourteen discussing and dissing bitches (:
fifteen eating *
sixteen getting my way after a heated argument
seventeen being allowed to do stuff i wanna do
eighteen talking about the randomest things ever on the phone
nineteen lol websites
twenty 'japanese no laughing game' on youtube. cracks me up everytime
twentyone inside jokes
twentytwo making lists
twentythree getting gifts (: and free food (:
twentyfour blogging
twentyfive being with my beluhved bitches
twentysix taking photos and being vain
twentyseven being crazy in public
twentyeight loling loudly and making people look
twentynine celine's LOL nerd glasses
thirty being jokingly sexual (ahm)
thirtyone the holidays
thirtytwo weekends and sleeping in
thirtythree the beach and playing with sand
thirtyfour the sun and SUMMER
thirtyfive shopping
thirtysix having $$ and being able to buy what i want
thirtyseven having funny arguments that last forever, and in the end no one even remembers what the problem was
thirtyeight dressing up and make up (:

i love ;

jumping & chinkos & electronical appliances
heaaaaarts. x

2009-10-20T11:39:00.000+13:00

continuation of my well known noobness

dinner with family, yesterday. was quite in a bad mood, as josh already knew. dunno why, just school and a megazillion due dates looming up at my face.

we were eating chicken, and i was secretly texting under the table. suddenly i looked up with a new hungerness feeling. i asked aloud to no one in particular, "is there anymore rice in the cooker?"

no one answered immediately. mum was busy calling someone, and my brother was busy eating and so was my sister. suddenly my phone buzzed and i focused back on reading the new text message.

suddenly my mother randomly said "yeah, there's a bit left." i didnt reply cuz i didnt know what she was on about. then my brother said, louder, "yes, there's still some rice." i still didnt respond. he said even louder, "YES THERE IS."

i looked up, annoyed. "yeah? what ?"
"there's still some rice in the cooker."
"and ? so?"
".... didnt you ask if there were any left ?"
i was about to argue back when i finally realised he was right.
"oh." so i got up and got more rice.

the end. funny how this story is mega similar with the MSN convo with beetch.