.skoffing. snacking on choc drops. drinking apple soda. going to the warehouse and spending a year in the shoe section. being on the phone with people. pretending to be studying for exams. watching TV secretly. pretending to be practising piano. pretending i'm all good for bio exam. drama drama drama. jealousy. insecureness ? scaredness. etcetera.


i dont think doing pilate workouts can help if i'm eating a whole packet of chicken skof and dark choc drops while working out. ha ha haaaa .


sometimes maybe its better not to care. then you wouldnt be so vulnerable and you wont get hurt because you dont care. maybe there is such a thing called 'caring too much'. especially if the people you care about dont care back.

like YOU. fuck, i dont even know you. cant believe how you were such a big part of my life, but now you act like you dont know me. like im just another random girl on your bebo friends list. stuff you. i dont wanna wish anything bad on you, but what goes around does comes back around. you'll get what i mean someday.

dont worry - not being vain at all, just wanna finally put up a new photo for the 'meet the mofo' section, heh heh heh.





x

took out a ruler and measured the heels.


1O.5 cm - motherfucker
174 + 1O.5 = 185 cm ?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!!!
faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhkkkkkk - -

i bought new heels .

now i dont know exactly why i bought it. all i know is that the first time i saw it, i fell deeply in love with it but i still know that keyne + heels = nononoimpossibilitiness. so i put them back down with a heavy heart and looked away.

so the next time i went to the shop i went straight to where i found the heels and voila - they're still there. price reduced aswell. $49.99 to $19.98 before, and it was now $14.98 .

hmmmm. so i made a little deal with myself. next time i go here and the heels are still there then its destiny.

so the third time i went with the whole group - Josh, Celine, Erika. dragged them all to the shoes section ("oh no ! again ?!" josh grumbled.) found it rightaway. even found the exact same ones in Erika's size. ohmylord. sign much ?

but still decided not to get it. the heel wasnt even that high, only about 7/8 probs. but still. i do not need another 8cm on top of my annoying 174cm, thankyou very much. so i walked away from them for the third time.

yesterday Josh came over. planned to be studying but failed, like always. anyway we went there again and looked for the heels again.. at first we couldnt find them in the normal place, so i was half disappointed and half glad. it means its just NOT meant to be ! but then my mofo found them. he even found one thats still in the original box, with the replacement heels etc. so i tried them on, for the 45943 millionth time.

to buy or not to buy, that is was the question.

decided to buy. i will be regretting not buying the heels, josh said. so we went to the cashier, and even at the cashier i was still pondering the option. but then the cashier lady person grabbed the heels and said "$15, thanks" so i guess i had no other choice.

the heels were mine.


and now i have 4 pairs of heels. two of them were for the st john ball and sacred heart ball, so i guess they were put to at least some use. the other one is this mofo high 12cm sandals wood type thing. like Erika's one. got it in wellington, $15 also. never worn it, ever. and now i have another one.. wonder what i'm gonna do with these 4. wonder what mum'll say. she'll probably be angry at me for buying shoes that i wont even wear anyway. ha ha haa .

ohwell. i guess at partys/random lol towndays/at home/towning with joseph i can then wear the heels (:

lol.

this story was composed on the back of Keyne's schooldiary 2OO9, during one maths period.

chapter one .

celine's boyfriend =. . . but he's married to keyne.
keyne divorced him for celine. . .
and celine broke up with him and married MJ.

chapter two .
but celine still had him as her secret boyfriend . .
until keyne came back and asked for their reunition. so they can be together forever and they promised each other never to cheat on each other and so that happened until they died. they had 4 children.

chapter three .
but he was faking his death and after he buried keyne he went to celine's house and they had sex for 237491 times to make up for all the lost time.
well thats what HE thought but actually it was a blow up doll which he had mistaken to be the real celine and so celine only had it EVER with MJ and they had 3 kids called Blanket, Paris and Michael Junior.

chapter four .
but celine mispelled the names on their birth certificates wrong = Blowjob, Penis and MoFo Junior and keyne only ever had sex with josh


the end .

i keep thinking of how much i love talking to you.
how good you look when you smile..
how much i love your laugh.
i daydream about you on and off,
replaying pieces of our conversations,
laughing at funny things that you said or did.
i've memorised your face & the way that you look at me..
i catch myself smiling again at what i imagine.
i wonder what will happen the next time we are together
and even though neither of us know what the future holds,
i know one thing for sure;
you're the best thing that ever happened to me
&& i love you .


x x o x

hahahaaa.loving that barcode font thing bitches. its mega cute.

today. going home with twin + bitch. ice cream day , girls day out. no mofos. HA HA AHHAHA.
shit this short post has so mant labels o_O


i love
tight jeans, cute heels, onsale shoes, designer bags, Gucci handbags, Guess handbags
shopping, having $$$, movies, 3D movies, sunnies
makeup, brand makeup, makeup shopping, eyeliners
J, C, E, S, C, Y, K, R, A
being allowed out, making lists, making letters
making cards, lollipops, loling at inside jokes
bitchy bitches being bitchy, hot boys, lol boys
blogging, editing blog templates, receiving comments, receiving texts
calling, going to timezone, ice skating, towning, chartwelling
fish and chips, Pasta Bella's macaroni, Deep Spring's Orange + Mango
noodle master's #1 noodle, the chicken breast from pronto pasta

my romeo is a mofo

yesterday. i wanted to go straight home cuz i was hungry. and i just knew that i wanted noodles. so i had to gap home as fast as possible and make some and finish it before the other members of my family came home. if they catch me eating noodles then i'll be dead.

so there i was, walking home and on the phone with mofo. mofo said he was at the warehouse with Jae. so i told him not to leave warehouse before i get home, because i looked particularly shitty yesterday. mofo said OK, saying he'll most likely take the bus right in front of WH anyway. so i wasnt worried.

so i got home and immediately started making the noodles. then mofo called again, saying he'll be walking past my house because he missed the bus. since i'll be inside and he cant see me anyway, i was just like okay, i gotta finish my noodles now. bye.

then suddenly in the middle of eating noodles, i heard steps coming closer. SOMEONE WAS ON MY DECK ! i froze, saw the blue/grey school uniform through the closed blinds and thought i was dead. my brother came home even though he was supposed to be at AfterSchool Care ! i glanced down at my noodles and wondered how i can hide it/get rid of the noodly smell. i only had a couple of seconds before my brother opens the door, catching me with a bowl of noodles in front of me.

but something strange happened. instead of stopping in front of the door and opening it, the shadowy figure kept on walking to where i was sitting. next to the open window. hardly daring to look up, my heart beating faster and faster.. in the end i looked up cuz i was already busted anyway. and i saw... the mofo.

WTF ! he was grinning mofoly. i said 'wtf, i told you not to come, i thought you were just gonna walk past my house !' and mofo said 'i know, i was walking past it, then i couldnt help it, i had to see you ! cuz i know you're inside'. then he raped* me through the open window. even though i tried to hide my shitty face the whole time.

so that is that story of my unexpected encounter with the mofo. im not seeing mofo today. well, i was only gonna see him on monday then saturday this week, but for some reason i've seen him monday/tuesday/wednesday/thursday. hes a sneaky mofo, that one. and im seeing him again tomorrow, for the Thai Festival at 7.


i ♥ my mofo.

1 about the post list before this -
i dont hate my mum. maybe there were times where i was so pissed that i felt like it, but its normal and everyone has this feeling for everyone sometimes. i guess we'rea all just being stressed right now, with the NCEA and moving house and whatnot. dont judge me on that list and think that im some ungrateful mofo to my mum or something.

2 to bitches being mofos to my twin.
your not exactly better than us, you know. in fact, your already not, considering the CHILDISHNESS showing when you made that stupid note thing. and i have to agree with the whole makeup thing. makeup is normal, believe it or not. girls put on make up. if you see boys putting on stuff, then you can bitch about it. if you think putting on makeup is an act of sluttiness, then im sorry that you're still in the playing-with-Barbie-dolls stage. you will reach the sophisticated teenage's stage, maybe, someday. and just because we put makeup on at the end of a school day.. SO WHAT ?! we dont need makeup while we're at school. we dont feel the need to impress the GIRLS at school. so why waste makeup during school? and why judge us for putting on makeup 'for the boys' ? you can do it yourself too, and we wouldnt care. why else do we buy makeup?

3 josh.
is a mofo .

4 define a slut.
a slut is someone who sleeps with alot of people. someone who has meaningless sex often. or someone who seduces boys just for the joy of it. and feeling superior because she's managed to make endless boys fall for her seduceness. a slut is someone who already has 'someone special' in their lives, but they need more. many more. so here goes the endless flirting and the 'harmless' chats with other boys.

a slut, then, is not someone who dances with boys at a party.
its a party. there's loud dancy music. there's boys.
wtf are you supposed to do ? sit in a line and have a little sing-a-long ?
dont confuse hate with jealousy, bitch.

5 new online crush !
ryan higa . who makes the lolest youtube videos ever. ohmg, ha ha ha.

6 piano .
trying to re-learn A Comme Amour from the Richard Clayderman's book thing. learnt it before but gave up halfway when i saw the twiddly fingery bit in the middle. trying to finish it now. and also try to learn the other one, A Letre a Mere or whatever its called.

7 thaishow plan thing for saturday night.
its still happening, just plan slightly changed. got a sudden dentist appointment on the day so bitches cant come over. they can still come to walk with me there around 5 ish.. but my wonderful family is also coming (: sorry josh. KILLED YOUR HENTAI PLANS DIDNT IT ?! the rapist mofo was planning to 'get lost' with me among the millions of gardens there. HA HA.

8 josh.
ily bbyy. i promise mum will know soon . . hopefully before saturday. which is in like, 2 days.
oh dear .


twin. i hope you enjoy this post (:
loveyou mofo .

1 if you dont want me to compare you to other 'cooler' mums, then dont compare me to other 'better' daughters who get E for every goddam assessment, or those who tidy up their room twice a day, or those daughters who make fabulous dinners and love doing house chores.
2 dont be angry when i dont tell you stuff. i dont tell you anything and yet you still manage to blame problems on friends/cellphones/boys when you dont even know anything. if i do start telling you stuff, wouldnt it just get worse? all it would do is make your blames more specified, but still wrong all the same.
3 just because other people's kids go to uni sooner doesnt mean they're gonna be freaking millionaires in their future. it also doesnt mean im gonna fail school and be a homeless person living on coins on the street either.
4 i really dont like it when i ask 'why' and you say 'because i say so'. its okay for you to say no, but i think i have the right to know WHY NOT. if you tell me a reasonable reason why i cant do stuff, then i'll accept it. saying 'because i dont want you to' doesnt exactly answer my question.
5 JUST BECAUSE I FUCK UP ONCE AND MISPLACE THE FUCKING CAMERA CHARGER DOESNT MEAN THAT ITS BOYS' FAULT. just because we both forget to send the charger overseas doesnt make it MY FAULT ENTIRELY and it doesnt mean that im useless and it doesnt mean that i am not capable of handling a relationship yet. actually i dont even see any relativity between the 2 things. they're freaking different shits entirely.
6 believe it or not, i am not the only teenager in this world who TEXT. if you think im bad, you should see the people who get 3 Text2OOO plans a month.
7 sneaking out will probably be necessary in the future if you dont let me do anything.
8 meeting up with guys at the WAREHOUSE is mega harmless. i mean, wtf can you do at the warehouse anyway? its like the publicest place ever with people everywhere.
9 if you dont like me bringing people home all the time, then start considering letting me go to their place. i'll be much happier too.
1O dont be confused as to why i dont play with my siblings anymore. im so nearly 17 and my 'playing' days with them are so over. and anyway they spend their time chasing each other and being stupid anyway. and im not joining that shit.
11 'family time' are stupid. all we end up doing is piss each other off. and as if we dont get enough of each other already. i've lived with you guys for my whole freaking life.

to my twin.
this is for you, mofo (:
i love you .

Love (n.)
is when you find someone you can really be yourself with. someone that you can share anything with like a bestfriend. love is when you cant even imagine what your life would be like without him. its when words dont even come close to how you really feel. and even though it may not make sense to some people, you simply just know you're meant to be together.

before i forget again, lol .

that means my birthday is also near, HA HA. 25 more days ? shit i shall be old o_O . oh no no noo.


anyway. was planning to not meet up with josh afterschool today, but megafailed. the stupid mofo was apparently at the Whaare-Haus-Ay with jae and he MADE me come. yes, thats right, made. anyway, so after a bit of eyelinering i gapped to the WH and just ate some pro corn fritter and bla bla, stayed only for awhile then go back home cuz i was scared of being busted by mum. tee hee .

that Thai Show thing on saturday night better happen. i better be allowed. mum better take my news well. i better pass KPL computing shit. and NCEA Level 2, for that matter. i better get a new dress/shoes for the wedding. hmph.

it seems like i can finally rest my head on something real,
i like the way that feels
oh, it's as if you know me better than i ever knew myself
i love how you can tell all the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
how do you know everything im about to say ?
am i that obvious ?
and is it written on my face ?
i hope it never goes away .
pieces of me ashlee simpson