its alright ; its okay.
im so much better without you.


yes i havent blogged in awhile.

lol, scratch that. i havent blogged in centuries. been a bit busy i guess. the holidays have been okay... but the real reason is, lately, my life has been semi wonderful and i dont get my share of the teenage life drama anymore - grr. ): lol as much as i love my life at the moment, i still miss those omg-did-you-know-what-that-bitch-just-did moments. some goodtimes.


but i just have something i have to get off my chest. this mega revelation i got when washing the dishes (i swear).


by the way, updated EFTPOS balance = $8.77
haha. big slide from the previous 280.

anyway, back to the story.


once upon a time, some lifetime ago, i went to a certain place with some boy. now it was just the two of us, walking around the place and bla de bla. then after we had lunch we both had spare change and decided to go to the wishing well thingy, as well as donating some coins for cancer. so we went around the place to look for the well and found it.

we both dropped the coins and as i watched my coin swirl around and around for ages, i read the label on the well. 'use your coins on the wishing well and your wish will come true!' or some cheesy shit like that. so i wished for my wish quickly before my coin drops down on the bottom of the swirly thing. i sneaked a look at the some boy and saw, quite relievedly, that his face was all serious as well. so he didnt think this was stupid. it was, after all, his idea. anyway, not sure what he was thinking, i continued on on my wish, the some boy still in my mind (like he always used to be).

i know im not supposed to share wishes, cuz then it'll jinx it and ruin the point. but since this was a lifetime ago and the wish had come true, i dont see no harm in sharing it.

i actually still remember my exact wish. it wasnt 'please let me become his girlfriend', like the most obvious wish ever, the one all my friends can easily guess. it was actually more on the line of 'i honestly think i've done quite a lot for me and him. if he wants me in his life, he's a big boy, he can do it himself. i wish that my friendship with him goes to whichever way is best, and anything that happen with us, it would be something that would be best for me, because i've done enough, and i kinda deserve things to be the way that would be good for me.'

then i closed my eyes and waited for the coin to drop.



a few months after that event, everything went weird. mega unexpected things happened, and i got hurt. alot. more than i've ever gotted, actually, especially from some stupid boy. after awhile things calmed down, and i randomly remembered the wishing well incident. and i blamed it. stupid freaking thing. it didnt fucking work. it must've been opposite day since everything went opposite as what i wished for. everything sucked.

then today, many many months after.
everyone's moved on and the dramas are about different things.
i am mega over the some boy and mega in love with the right boy, and my love life has never been better.
as i washed the dishes i started thinking about how 'be careful what you wished for, because it might come true.' and we dont know the consequences that our wishes can bring. or the bad sides of it. cuz there are equal bad and good things in this life.

and i realised that the wishing well thing worked. i got what was best for me. i worked so hard for things, and this is my reward. it may not seem like a reward some months ago, but now i mega see how my wish came true. i am so much better without him. he's now doing different things, hanging with different people, and at the moment, i cant see how our lives can be the same at all. it was never a good plan to include him in my future. even if it worked before, it would've stopped working right around now.

so it was a good thing that it never started. i got hurt alot, yes, but i would've got hurt alot more now if it had started, and now ended. it was so much better that i lost everything, and found a new, better everything in a different boy. sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can come together. its such a mofo true saying. you will always think something is 'best', until you find a better one.


so i got what i wished for. the big heartbreak was the universal way of telling me that im wasting my time on this some boy. the universe and all destinity were telling me that the boy i wanted all along was always there on my side. always. and i never really noticed it, because i was busy wasting my time on some boy.

some love life, huh?


so, in conclusion, it was good while it lasted, whatever it was that me and some boy had.


the end.