having pretty coolio days lately. had my last exam on thursday, freaking calculus OVER AND DONE WITH; yea. my party is tomorrow (: i hope it wont suck ! ohwell alcohol will be there to assist with the entertainment. hahahaha.


chilled with boytwan today. have not seen him in a couple years. but when we saw each other again, it was like nothing had changed. just chilled normally like we did before. so that was pretty cool, some funny stuff happened that i'm not allowed to bring up again ever, so i wont say it. chilled at the base, then burger king, then he dropped me back to town and i hanged with josh, marty and charles. marty went home and the rest of us just went around dick smith/jb hi fi etc. guy shops.

josh bought me a hello kitty plushy (: i named her Pinky. here is why=

a list of keyne's fave plushys.

the newest ones: Mr Happy from Ye Eun ; Pinky from Josh

i have made a plan to go to the hairdresser's on thursday after i finish with my calculus exam. yes. make this fringe/stupid syle get better, just in time before the party and photos.


green/purple contacts for the party? hmmm. depends on the dress.

so, therefore, going dress shopping on saturday, a few hours before the party starts. yes, it wouldn't be me if i didn't do things last-minutely.


IF I WERE A CAT, WHERE WOULD I GO ?

the haps.

1 being absolutely unmotivated. got classical studies exam tomorrow, which means shitloads of stuff needs to be memorised. i would actually rather do some calculus equations, tbh. dunno why, just cbf remembering useless shit. why did i take classics? cuz i was gonna go to egypt etc and dig out archaelogical stuff? cuz i'll be a classics teacher? no. i thought their credits can count towards my not-enough literacy credits. one, i actually already have enough of those to go to college. two, THEY DONT COUNT.

2 instead i'm on It Girl trying to figure out how to get more money so i can buy the stuff in the shops. fun game (: and annoying sometimes.

3 facebook wont let me add anymore friends/fan pages because 'i have too many'. bulleffingshit! some people have like 5000 friends and still going. i dont even have half of that.

4 waiting for the day i will have my contacts in my grasp. MUAHAHAHHA.

5 i hope my party wont be lame ): nothing more embarassing than being the host of an extra-lame party.

6 experimented with my fringe before i got in the shower this morning. now i REALLY NEED a haircut. someone come save me.

7 countdown to josh going away, 8 days.

oh, and one more thing..

8 my stupid cat ran away.

update on my life...

. we adopted a cat yesterday (: her name's Chippi and she's about 4-5 years old..
. i've been going to josh's house at 7.30 in the morning and sleeping in his arms... *SNUGGLE* and spend whole days together..
. i've got 2 more exams to go, then i'm gonna focus fully on my partyy !!!
. i bought 2 contact lenses (: one purple pair, and another green prescription pair (: imma wear the purple ones for my party !!! hope it gets delivered here before saturday..
. we might be getting a pomeranian as well. AHAHA i cant wait..
. had my first EyeToy experience the other day. super crack up.
. life is pretty awesome at the moment. except for the whole 2 exams left.. and not sure about next year.. and etc.. but yeah, pretty awesome.


BIRTHDAY WISHLIST
. pink digital camera !
. a pomeranian puppy..
. $$$$$
. jewellery, clothes, shoes, etc
. pink laptop with built in camera !!
. not sure what else... any pink girl stuff? :D

isn't it funny how this works?

some days you can be sweet. like, really sweet. you can be so sweet that i can just either eat you all up/smother you with sweetness back or just be totally happy. and some other days you are just the most charming, nicest all-smiles boy in the whole world. you are also skilled to be the most loving person, making me really happy, all lovey-dovey and all sweet, spices and everything nice.


and then, some other days, you make me just want to rip someone's head off.

or tear something up. beat something/someone until they're completely unrecognisable. especially when you don't know how your words/lack thereof will make me feel, will affect me. at times when you dont seem like you dont give a shit. maybe you say 'oh, you know i always care,' bla bla bla, WELL AT TIMES IT DOESNT SEEM THAT WAY OKAY. there are times when the 'signs' your giving out doesnt spell out i care for you at all. so how am i supposed to know?


i am not going to text/call/see/whatever you first, as of today. see what you would do. see if you would even notice. i hope you'll have fun playing at the NETCAFE. dont know why guys are so freaking drawn to this place. if it was a strip club, yes, i get the reason. but that shit. those netcafe owners must get a lot of profits from basically all the 14-20 year old guys in this whole freaking world. i go in that place sometimes, for you, and i dont complain, i try to enjoy it and even find some sort of fun from it. so why cant you do the same when we go to 'girl' shops? i dont grumble and act annoyed and pissed and bored whenever we go to some appliance store or electronics or some shit. even if your not enjoying it why dont you let me have the fun sometimes ???


its not a nice feeling, by the way, wanting to rip something to shreds/puching the hell out of something/being plain pissed off and you know it, but your not doing anything about it - right in the middle of the night. 12.42 and i cant sleep because of this annoying angry feeling. i was actually all nicely tucked up in bed, but my thoughts just kept going over these angry stuff and i got out again, took out the laptop and attacked the keyboard with these ANGRY WORDS. maybe i should turn this around and see how you would react if i did some things you did. SOME DAYS HUH.

just 5 specific wishes this time. nothing too flashy-flashy.

1 i move out to auckland and flat with josh, hassle-free.

this might be stretching it a bit far. but it is, after all, just a wish.
2 i get a good job in auckland so i can live well and not get too stressed/tired and can still enjoy my teenage life
this isn't that far-stretched. might happen, with some luck.
3 miraculously my 'cancelled' application went through and they accept me into AUT.
this one might be a bit bullshit, seeing as how i email-ed them and never got any reply. and the last day for knowing what happens to your application was yesterday. and i didnt hear shit.
4 all my end-of-year exams/externals get good marks.
this is more up to me, ha. ohwell, i'll try hard.
5 i keep my relationships with everyone i want. or make it better. whatever.
kinda hard, with friends going off to all parts of the world. but yeah (:

they say 'writing your feelings down' can make you better, but i dont feel the slightest bit relieved? i need reassurence, to know everything will be okay, to know its not the end of the world, just to KNOW.

it just kinda set in how hard life is. its hard (: the hardest part is choosing the right decisions... especially when you're being pressured to choose one. maybe if everyone left me alone i would actually make a decision that I want ...


life isn't fair, either. it is a bitch. and will turn around and stab you in the back sometimes. but it can also make you feel really good and happy... and that is why it is a fake, fake bitch. and people say life is a roller coaster, cuz of the ups and downs.. bullshit. roller coasters are fun, when you're speeding straight to the ground it's fun and exciting, and after a second you're back on your way up again. life isn't the same. when you're on the bottom its no fun at all, it makes you depressed and it takes ages sometimes to get back up... so no, it is in no way at all like a roller coaster.


sigh, life. hope everything will be worth this.

life sucks balls

a;ritnvalweirtnvawoi4nvuolawiohtfbalkwhtvnklawu45io3475oiwvbasincvasasgh;agh;agvnvasgh;achi;arv;tna;iortvha


out of ALL THE OTHER FREAKING APPLICANTS, i have to be the only one who got my application fucked up

EVERYONE ELSE i know already got interviews/accepted/rejected but i havent heard SHIT and when i checked my status it said that my application is CANCELLED. WT F they already got the order right and now they cancelled my application? what about the portfolio??? and then i emailed the lady who is supposed to be in charge of this shit and she didnt email me back, and tomorrow's the day when everyone's gonna know their result and they probably threw away my portfolio cuz apparently the application is CANCELLED.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH ao;irtnvlahnvlishtnlaw48568cv376cvqwe4 mother fucker.

im telling you, these kind of unnecessary, annoying bad-luck shits always happen to me. ALWAYS. thanks to this, now i have to call them or something and sort it out, wasting money and time while i can just sit back like everyone else and get the news delivered to me. BLAH BLAH BLAH eff you a million times.


GRRR.

funny how BARF the song is now, just by changing a few words (: