having serious panic attacks lately because time is closing in and this is it, it's actually happening. it's not a 'next-year' thing anymore, it's more like in the next couple of weeks. i am actually moving out.

and my mom doesn't know.


how fucked up is this? i may have reasons and excuses as to why she doesn't know about my big life-changing plans yet, but still, it's gonna happen soon and the sooner i tell her, the better. after all, i'm not asking for permission anymore, i'm telling her what i'm doing with my life. and i've just finished applying for student loan/student allowance so that the government can help me survive living on my own (lol)


she's been away for the last 5 days and although i admit, i feel guilty and bad for doing this, i have been out pretty much the whole time. after work i go out and come back late, or one time i stayed out at mitch's, and then celine and josh slept over one night. i know she told me not to go out/have friends over while she's not here, well, sorry, these are pretty much the only chance i get to have fun properly and not have to worry about what time it is. what she doesn't know wont hurt her and all that.

my bestfriend for 5 years is leaving to france. in 3 weeks.

ohyeah. life is AWESOME, not. i have it good at the moment because my boyfriend and my bestfriend get along awesomely, and they can be described as best friends too. so we can all hang out together and i'd be very happy. but now one member of the group is leaving... it's not fun, but i'd study hard and get rich, and then i can visit her wherever she is (:


random= have watched Despicable Me at least 7 times now. no kidding, the cutest movie of all time, especially Agnes and the minions. why would anyone NOT adopt Agnes, ??? goes to show life is unfair.

woke up at 2 pm today.. no kidding. felt weird because it was suddenly 5.30 and boom, sunday is nearly all gone. ohwell, stayed up clubbing until 1.30 last night so i needed some rest anyway (:


happy birthday ricardo!


anyway. still looking for apartments... it's actually hard. ohwell. if other people can do it, so can i.

i received my scores today.. uni entrance! yay so happy. now just need to make some payments so i can get accepted to AUT (:

just sold 2 of my heels. byebye )': ohwell, i dont wear them anyway, and i get some extra $. god knows i need heaps of those.

valentine's day 2011 coming up bitches (:

Elizabeth: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.
Jack: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

life is great, but it's also scary how sometimes life can just sneak up on you and boom, there it is.

okay, that doesn't really make sense. it's more like time runs past you when you turn around, and when you turn back around boom, you're suddenly faced with reality, and you wonder 'how the hell is this here already?'

like when i went to auckland to look at apartments. the agents people kept saying stuff like when are you going to move in? next week, next month? answer= around in 3 weeks to a month. 3 weeks to a month.

am i really going away in that small period of time? change my life forever, and possibly also a few relationships with my family? will it change that much? will it be a good change?

i dont know. only i can make it a good thing/bad thing. since i'm still living it, i still control it and so i can make it whatever i want to be. i can be lazy and have a bad year, or i can work hard and make it all better in the end and in the future. and cuz life is unpredictable, i can work hard and still, some bad shit can happen that will ruin it all. but what i can DEFINITELY do is make the most of it and enjoy it, because it wont be worth it if i dont.



and still everyday i ask myself, am i doing the right thing for me? moving out would be scary. living with friends would be fun, but also scary. having no one to tell you what to do is awesome, and also scary as shit, because if you get stuck and don't know what to do, what do you do? no one to help you through. ohwell, other people my age and younger have moved out in this world and survived, so i can do it too.

i hope.

check out this song. amazing stuff

war happening at home.. same old, same old. just a few more weeks and i'll be outta here anyway. the government will take care of me anyway (: I LOVE NEW ZEALAND

didnt come home the night before because of stupid shit happening at home. you dont listen to me, mum. whenever we have 'a talk' its not really true. you had a talk, i had a listen.

today=
m= do u have work tomorrow?
k= no, work starts thursday.
m= oh, so you have nothing to do tomorrow.
k= josh and his family asked me to go to auckland tomorrow.
m= and?
k= and so i'm going to auckland tomorrow
m= you havent even asked my permission
k= i just told you just now.
m= but you havent asked my permission to go
k= okaaaaaayy
m= (pause) we need to have a talk.
k= yes we do.


blahblah. i might sound rude but honestly, this kinda shit has been going on for years. i've put up with it for quite awhile, just accepting it. now im fighting back.

hahaha, sometimes i wish i had a special superpower, a superpower that will let me make whoever is pissing me off disappear or something. will make life a tiny bit bearable


why are there so many annoying people in this world?

i didnt even remember about this at all, but i saw agita's post made me want to make one (:

okay, let's see..


Keyne New Year's Resolution for 2O11
1 be nicer to everyone :D
2 try my best in whatever i do, and not give up
3 SAVE MY MONEY - NO MORE IMPULSE BUYS
4 manage money well so i can make my payments.
5 concentrate on my studies and try to not get too distracted by social life..
6 enjoy life (:
7 use new freedom accordingly and responsibly.
8 get a good part time job to help the financials
9 get restricted license!
1O stay with josh.