having serious panic attacks lately because time is closing in and this is it, it's actually happening. it's not a 'next-year' thing anymore, it's more like in the next couple of weeks. i am actually moving out.

and my mom doesn't know.


how fucked up is this? i may have reasons and excuses as to why she doesn't know about my big life-changing plans yet, but still, it's gonna happen soon and the sooner i tell her, the better. after all, i'm not asking for permission anymore, i'm telling her what i'm doing with my life. and i've just finished applying for student loan/student allowance so that the government can help me survive living on my own (lol)


she's been away for the last 5 days and although i admit, i feel guilty and bad for doing this, i have been out pretty much the whole time. after work i go out and come back late, or one time i stayed out at mitch's, and then celine and josh slept over one night. i know she told me not to go out/have friends over while she's not here, well, sorry, these are pretty much the only chance i get to have fun properly and not have to worry about what time it is. what she doesn't know wont hurt her and all that.

my bestfriend for 5 years is leaving to france. in 3 weeks.

ohyeah. life is AWESOME, not. i have it good at the moment because my boyfriend and my bestfriend get along awesomely, and they can be described as best friends too. so we can all hang out together and i'd be very happy. but now one member of the group is leaving... it's not fun, but i'd study hard and get rich, and then i can visit her wherever she is (:


random= have watched Despicable Me at least 7 times now. no kidding, the cutest movie of all time, especially Agnes and the minions. why would anyone NOT adopt Agnes, ??? goes to show life is unfair.