life is great, but it's also scary how sometimes life can just sneak up on you and boom, there it is.

okay, that doesn't really make sense. it's more like time runs past you when you turn around, and when you turn back around boom, you're suddenly faced with reality, and you wonder 'how the hell is this here already?'

like when i went to auckland to look at apartments. the agents people kept saying stuff like when are you going to move in? next week, next month? answer= around in 3 weeks to a month. 3 weeks to a month.

am i really going away in that small period of time? change my life forever, and possibly also a few relationships with my family? will it change that much? will it be a good change?

i dont know. only i can make it a good thing/bad thing. since i'm still living it, i still control it and so i can make it whatever i want to be. i can be lazy and have a bad year, or i can work hard and make it all better in the end and in the future. and cuz life is unpredictable, i can work hard and still, some bad shit can happen that will ruin it all. but what i can DEFINITELY do is make the most of it and enjoy it, because it wont be worth it if i dont.



and still everyday i ask myself, am i doing the right thing for me? moving out would be scary. living with friends would be fun, but also scary. having no one to tell you what to do is awesome, and also scary as shit, because if you get stuck and don't know what to do, what do you do? no one to help you through. ohwell, other people my age and younger have moved out in this world and survived, so i can do it too.

i hope.